Futurama

When you do things right people won't be sure you've done anything at all.

“They’re like sex except I’m having them”.

I can wire anything directly into anything! I'M THE PROFESSOR!

"Thanks to denial, I'm immortal!"

"What really killed the dinosaurs?" " ME!!! "

"But you're better than normal! You're abnormal!"

I can't believe everybody's just ad-libbing!

"I'm going to remind Fry of his humanity, the way only a woman can."

"You're going to do his laundry?"

Edit - the one that had me literally rolling off the couch because I was laughing so hard was, "That just raises further questions!"

To shreds, you say..

Well, how's his wife holding up? To shreds, you say...

Farnsworth: Dear Lord! That's over 150 atmospheres of pressure!

Fry: How many atmospheres can the ship withstand?

Farnsworth: Well, it's a space ship, so I'd say anywhere between zero and one.

The butter in my pocket is melting!

“We know nothing about their history, their language, or what they look like, but we can assume this: they stand for everything that we don’t stand for. And also, they told me you guys look like dorks.”

“Take the deal, Fry! If there's a delicious cake, isn't it better to have one slice than none at all? Even if four other guys eat the other four slices, and they're all thrusting their sweaty naked bodies against the cake?”

I'm Scruffy, the janitor.

If I don't survive, tell my wife, "Hello".

"If we hit that bullseye the rest of the dominos will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate!"

What makes a man turn neutral?

This isn't a productive area of discussion.

(destructive noises) Buddha, Zeus, God, one of you guys, do something! Satan, you owe me!

They say the key to any successful battle is the element of surprise. SURPRISE!

My absolute favorite: You win again, gravity!

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.

MY LEG FEELS FUNNY

...

MY LEG FEELS BETTER

Bender: "So people will actually pay money to find love...? I have an idea, an idea so genius...." gavel sounds "Stupid anti-pimping laws!"

"What are those disgusting creatures?"

"Those are the Grungalungas."

"Tell them i hate them."

When they're getting pulled down toward Atlanta:

How many atmospheres can this ship withstand?

Well it's a spaceship, so I'd say anywhere between zero and one.

I sublibed with obly tribial blain dabblage.

I'll start my own amusement park with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the blackjack.

No I'm... doesn't!

Wait, I'm having one of those things, you know, a headache with pictures.

So, there's an infinite number of parallel universes?

No... just the two...

The one I use most often: "I've heard worse excuses to drink".

Not exactly an iconic line, but I love the delivery:

"Have you heard of the Monks of Deshuba?"

Fry: "I've... not heard of them."

Futurama's great for nerdy science gags, social satire, and pop culture spoofs, but its best jokes are always uniquely stupid twists of language like this.

Thus global warming was solved, once and for all.
But....
Once And For All.