this post was submitted on 26 Nov 2024
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Futurama

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The big brain am winning again! I am the greetest! Now, I am leaving Earth for no raisin.

EDIT: After reading your replies, it occurred to me that too much of my everyday speech is made up of lines from the show. Maybe that’s why everyone thinks I’m weird.

The rest of aren’t normal, and that’s what makes us great! … So, Leela, don’t want to be like us? Or do you want to be like Adlai, with no severe mental or social problems whatsoever?

Second EDIT: I didn’t expect so many responses, but I’ve just been reading them all and giggling to myself. Thank you everyone I really needed this. Keep em coming!

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

When you do things right people won't be sure you've done anything at all.

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

“They’re like sex except I’m having them”.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

I can wire anything directly into anything! I'M THE PROFESSOR!

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

"Thanks to denial, I'm immortal!"

"What really killed the dinosaurs?" " ME!!! "

"But you're better than normal! You're abnormal!"

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

I can't believe everybody's just ad-libbing!

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

"I'm going to remind Fry of his humanity, the way only a woman can."

"You're going to do his laundry?"

Edit - the one that had me literally rolling off the couch because I was laughing so hard was, "That just raises further questions!"

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

To shreds, you say..

Well, how's his wife holding up? To shreds, you say...

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Farnsworth: Dear Lord! That's over 150 atmospheres of pressure!

Fry: How many atmospheres can the ship withstand?

Farnsworth: Well, it's a space ship, so I'd say anywhere between zero and one.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

The butter in my pocket is melting!

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

“We know nothing about their history, their language, or what they look like, but we can assume this: they stand for everything that we don’t stand for. And also, they told me you guys look like dorks.”

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

“Take the deal, Fry! If there's a delicious cake, isn't it better to have one slice than none at all? Even if four other guys eat the other four slices, and they're all thrusting their sweaty naked bodies against the cake?”

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

The candle that burns twice as bright, burns half as long

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

Boilers an' terlets, terlets an boilers, even that one boilin terlet.

Fire me iffin' ye dare.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

The elves are back

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

I'm gonna get me one of them $300 haircuts. This one's lost its pizzazz.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

If I don't survive, tell my wife, "Hello".

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

"If we hit that bullseye the rest of the dominos will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate!"

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

This isn't a productive area of discussion.

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

(destructive noises) Buddha, Zeus, God, one of you guys, do something! Satan, you owe me!

They say the key to any successful battle is the element of surprise. SURPRISE!

My absolute favorite: You win again, gravity!

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

😀😦😀😦😀😦

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

This one regularly works its wait into my daily speech

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

MY LEG FEELS FUNNY

...

MY LEG FEELS BETTER

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Bender: "So people will actually pay money to find love...? I have an idea, an idea so genius...." gavel sounds "Stupid anti-pimping laws!"

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

Shut up baby. I know it

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

"What are those disgusting creatures?"

"Those are the Grungalungas."

"Tell them i hate them."

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

When they're getting pulled down toward Atlanta:

How many atmospheres can this ship withstand?

Well it's a spaceship, so I'd say anywhere between zero and one.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I sublibed with obly tribial blain dabblage.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

Also:

That's over atmospheres of pressure!

How many can the ship withstand?!

Well, it's a spaceship, so I'd say anywhere between zero and one.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I'll start my own amusement park with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the blackjack.

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

No I'm... doesn't!

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

Wait, I'm having one of those things, you know, a headache with pictures.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

So, there's an infinite number of parallel universes?

No... just the two...

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

You live in the universe, but you never do these things until someone comes to visit.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

The one I use most often: "I've heard worse excuses to drink".

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Not exactly an iconic line, but I love the delivery:

"Have you heard of the Monks of Deshuba?"

Fry: "I've... not heard of them."

Futurama's great for nerdy science gags, social satire, and pop culture spoofs, but its best jokes are always uniquely stupid twists of language like this.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

Thus global warming was solved, once and for all.
But....
Once And For All.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

The supreme rulers are hardly known by their subjects.

The lesser are loved and praised.

The even lesser are feared.

The least are despised.

Those who show no trust will not be trusted.

Those who are quiet value the words.

When their task is completed, people will say:

We did it ourselves.

--Tao Te Ching, Chapter 17

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

My mantra for life.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 weeks ago

"You can't just sit here in the dark listening to classical music'

"I could if you hadn't turned on the lights and shut off the stereo."

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