this post was submitted on 17 Nov 2024
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Laittakaa meemejä tänne.

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Stole it off of reddit

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[–] [email protected] 58 points 2 days ago (4 children)

I used to be the guy that knew everyone, introducing my friends to others, and others to others.

These days, I have maybe 2 friends.

The good friends I once had believe everything they see on Facebook.

I just couldn't anymore.

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[–] [email protected] 99 points 2 days ago (7 children)

IDK man, the people with no or few friends tend to be weird but not really bad in any meaningful way: socially awkward, shy, odd interests, neurodivergent etc. Difficult to get to know, plain and simple. People with a lot of friends are often worse people, manipulative and/or have a transactional attitude to relationships

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Yeah I'd like to think I'm not a bad person. I just have intense social anxiety. The only way I've made friends are when chatty people tend to talk to me and invite me to things. I've always appreciated when people do this, but then I just don't retain the friendship when I or they have moved across the country or when we've moved into different life stages (ex: graduating from high school or college or changing jobs). I'm fortunate enough to have a friend now who is just nice and talks to me. Prior to that I didn't have anyone for a while outside of my online friends. Some of us are really just terrified of other human beings is all.

Part of this is that I have always an intense paranoia of appearing too clingy, so I never invite anyone else out to do things. Notice how one of the commenters said they broke off a friendship because the other person was too clingy. Well I just break it off first by never engaging because I don't want them to think I'm too clingy or weird. Even now with the one friend I have I fear that I text too much or bother them too much or things like that. I try to limit myself and leave them alone but I never know where the line is between never speaking and between speaking too much.

So I just chill alone I guess.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 days ago (5 children)

When I was in high school there was only one kid with no friends and he was racist

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

Same. It was in the Tennessee suburbs so there was actually a lot of racism, but dude was like, Klan level racist, and that's just rude.

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[–] [email protected] 75 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Idk man, the people with no friends and the people with a lot of friends and even the people with a middle amount of friends seem to follow a standard distribution of personalities.

Some awkward people and some charismatic people just suck. Some awkward people and some charismatic people are awesome. But most of all, people are just kinda shades of in-between.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

And when it's not any of those cases then that person has a horrible pattern of behavior. I've learned this lesson way too hard.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Can relate; have friend who I somewhat wish I never met

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 days ago

Happened to me a few years ago, started in a new office and one of the guys seemed cool so we talked more frequently. Ended up helping him get the apartment upstairs from me because his lease was expiring and carpooled to work. That's when the clinginess started, couldn't go half a day without him always texting or calling over stupid shit and borderline unhinged behaviors. I distanced myself real quick from him. The final straw was when he had asked what "village" my girlfriend was from in Brazil, then doubled down when I called him out for assuming she was from some uncontacted Amazonian tribe. "Well you havent been there yet so you don't know lol" yeah ok fuck you, dude. Haven't talked to him since, even though he still lives upstairs.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Anxiety sucks, or is there different reasons why I don't have irl friends?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Yeah I'm deleting this. Not comfortable with what I said based off a "few people I know"

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[–] [email protected] 59 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

not to brag, but i've graduated from not befriending friendless people to driving away friended people who try to be friends with me

less people, ~~less~~ fewer drama

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Fewer would only be used in this case if drama was plural. Fewer dramas vs less drama

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I was referring to fewer people lol.

Really though the jury is kind of out with fewer/less in a lot of situations, but a strict rule would probably say "fewer people, less drama". The real contradiction is "15 items or less", which should really be "15 items or fewer" but the former is so well established now it won't go away.

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[–] [email protected] 47 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 days ago

Perfect lmao

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Fewer people, less drama (other way around)

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago
[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 days ago (3 children)

There are a lot of lonely people in the world. Too many of them deserve it.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 2 days ago (3 children)

I had a brilliant idea for a app during college. It connected self-identified lonely nerds with other self-identified lonely nerds. Like "Oh you like anime, here is this other guy, and here are five events you can attend together." I was hoping for that Zuckerberg money if this app was a hit.

I ran it through a test trial with a dozen pairings of them in my college campus to see if it had value.

And yeah, a lot of the feedback was that the other person was kind of annoying/intolerable. Which was funny when both of them said that about each other.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago

Accurate. I found my idea was just recreating reddit mod meetups.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 days ago

Hence the lack of profit

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 63 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It’s the risk you take. I’ve met some of the most interesting people this way. If you go into it with an open mind and understand that usually it’s not going to work out, you’ll be better for it.

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[–] [email protected] 122 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Two weeks ago, I saw the loner at the table of an event. Went to go talk to them because they were alone for a while.

In less than 10 minutes, they made a offensive joke that would have insulted half the people here, and complained about their living situation unprompted.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Now I want to know the joke

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 days ago (4 children)

The guy made a comment about women and minorities about if I was just trying to meet a DEI quota.

He said this to me, a person of color, at a tech event where according to the census, 60% of Engineers are white.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 days ago

Idk why in imagining them telling a version of the aristocrat's and then saying, "So anyway, that's my roommates."

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