this post was submitted on 03 Nov 2024
884 points (95.2% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

28933 readers
3461 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

These good Mormon boys have wrapped your answer up in a nice little song

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mKB_W4Fv_vY

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

In Exodus, Moses asked to see God's face, and was not allowed to. God told him he would allow Moses to see his "back" instead. When I was a boy at Yeshiva, the prevailing wisdom was that God showed Moses the back of his neck, and his Tefilin knot. The Tefilin contains passages relating the Shema, and my Rabbis connected it back to how God has a devotion of his own to Israel in his tefilin (which this source also does).

The tefilin is a rite only permitted for men to practice, so I guess that's ones thing for this meme. But the word used for back, אֲחֹרָ֑י, is more accurately translated as "butt." Now why would God need a butt?

This is old Testament by the way. The J source for those who care, who often portrays God as a little earthier than the others.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Imagine going into a cave to see God and it's just him bent over showing hole

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Hey christofash men, if everybody is entitled to their own personal and private relationship with god, and you should love god as he loves you, it’s totally legal for your wife to think about god’s massive peener while you’re having sex strictly for the purposes of procreation. Just noodle on that for a bit.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Weren't Asherah and Yahweh a consort pair? Wasn't Baal their son?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

"The sword of God, the blood of the lamb, vengeance is mine, millions of dead motherfuckers, all because they gave the wrong answer to the God question. 'You believe in God?'

'No.'

BANG Dead.

'You believe in God?'

'Yes.'

'You believe in my God?'

'No.'

BANG Dead.

'My God has a bigger dick than your God!'"

-George Carlin

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I can follow this, up to

they are neopronouns

I believe that that's a decision made by translators of the bible. Hebrew doesn't have lowercase letters, and the Greek versions of the New Testament that I found don't capitalize as much. And are they distinct?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Yeah, it’s more of an act of reverence or deference. However, it is a pronoun (cis-gendered, and preferred) which some people believe never occurs in the Bible.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

It's not more heretical to claim that jesus wasn't entirely human, quite the opposite in fact. It's a very old theological debate of homoousianism vs heteroousianism vs homoiousianism (same substance, different substance, similar substance). This debate was settled in the 4th century and Arianism (heteroousianism) was rejected

Homoousianism - god the father is of the same substance as Christ, is the most prevalent vision nowadays, which means that christ is purely divine and not human

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

Want to know why life is always fucking you? If God has a dick, his dick would be omnipresent therefore you're constantly being dicked by God.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

According to Mormons, god is literally male, with (perfect) male genitalia. There is also a god--the-mother, who is female, and is both secret and sacred (they really don't like talking about her), and also utterly subservient to god the father, because of course she is. According to Mormon theology, both gods were once mortal, and were raised up to godhood by their godly parents; Mormons--if they're good enough--can go to Mormon super-heaven, where they will also become gods in their own right. Before everyone was born physically, they were born spiritually, in... More or less the same way babies are born now, except in heaven, to a heavenly mom. And there were hundreds of billions of spirit babies, so I guess that god the dad and god the mom really like sex or something? The implications start getting really, really weird, very fast. Which is part of the reason why Mormons don't usually want to talk about stuff like this with people that aren't Mormon.

I believe that the quote is, "As man is, so once was god. As god is, so man can become," or something like that.

Source: was Mormon for >25 years.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Congrats for getting out I guess?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

To paraphrase Nietzsche, that which doesn't kill you psychologically scars you and leaves you with a lifetime of therapy bills.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Hey pills are great, apparently quite a few people like them. Can you recommend any?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Currently I recommend bupropion and atomoxetine, but once I get an appointment with a psychiatrist, I'll probably recommend lisdexamphetamine.

Modafanil is pretty great too.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

You see, god stoked his divine dick and then, there came a big bang and billions of galaxy came out of the ejaculated foam.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

This is why it makes more sense to believe in more gods.

More gods == more rational

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Why should every part of God need a purpose? What does efficiency mean in the face of unlimited power (palpatine.jpeg), or simplicity in the face of omniscience? Why does God have a penis? Cause he wanted one I guess. They are nice for peeing too.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Peeing implies waste, which implies imperfection. If god were really God, his body would be 100% efficient and he wouldn't consume anything he didn't need.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

One man's waste is another man's gold...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Nah, in its internal logic, Chalcedonean Christianity doesn't have this problem. Jesus is defined as fully human and fully divine, and peeing is just part of being human.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Jesus and God are two different entities, we were discussing "The Father".

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Chalcedonian Christianity is also Nicene, i.e., Trinitarian: one being in three cosubstantial persons. They share the divine cock and balls, one would say.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Oh, so Jesus just had one nut, the Holy Ghost had the other one, and God obviously had the Heavenly Shaft. Got it.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Maybe the pee is not waste, but spontaneously created to God's will. " I want to pee, sure would be nice if I had a penis right now" - a diety that does not plan ahead, probably.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Well God, that's pretty sexist. You don't need a penis to pee.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I think this is very relevant to this discussion https://youtu.be/qUb0JnEsOHQ

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

I was thinking of the exact same video.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

This is excellent:

If God has no cock, then being male doesn't need a cock to be real.

If he has a cock, then does he only use it to pee? Or does he use it to both pee and fuck? Does that mean he had sexual relations with a minor who was also married already?

Does the Trinity have a cock? Or is it only the father or is it only the son? You can clearly see that the son had a cock. But did he keep it as a ghost cock? Do they have 3 different cocks? Or do they share a cock?

Since they supposedly are virgin, do they have to jack off? Do they jack off at the same time? Or does one have to hide somewhere to jack off? Or are they okay just jacking off in front of the others?

What do they pee? If you take a shower in god pee, do you smell good? Or bad?

And why all these questions about pee anyway...how about poo? Is God poo good or bad? If it's bad, doesn't that mean that God has bad things inside of him? Does that mean they gotta eat something? What do they eat? Can we eat it too? How come God let's people die of hunger if he has a source of God food?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Pretty sure the official position in most sects, including Catholicism, is that God is not "male", but singular male pronouns are nevertheless the only "correct" pronouns for "Him".

load more comments
view more: next ›