this post was submitted on 28 Oct 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

For anyone scrolling far enough to read this, all of the correct answers for this, follow the same formula. Statement about how you cannot tell leading into a compliment about their looks.

This can be reversed, complimenting they're looks, and lead into that it is impossible to tell.

Unless she looks like the wicked witch of the west, like one girl I knew. She had surgery at some point, and I only knew her after that happened. I am not exaggerating with that reference.

Bluntly, I couldn't have cared less. Things didn't work out for completely unrelated reasons.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 12 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago)

Laura Loomer: Can you guess?

Loomer: Jk all of them.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 14 hours ago

Women: asks you to critically investigate their body.

OP: chose to not to take the hint.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 14 hours ago

I wasn't going to say anything. but you asked. yeah Jessica. it looks like you got dragged behind a 4 wheeler for a mile and the EMT's shoved a fucking saddle horn into your skull to stop the bleeding.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)

(I have another response.)
Lean away, give her a long look, and gaze deep into her eyes. Tilt your head slightly to the side.

“…. dad?”

In the stunned silence, because she never expected you to be right, tell her that you didn’t think you would see her again after she disappeared on her way to get cigarettes all those years ago.

And then put your hand on her thigh and say “I’ve missed you daddy” with wide eyes.

Gets ‘em every time.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

I want to get whatever Jeff bezos had done so that my face looks like it's going to explode when I talk

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

“You had a concerning mole removed from your thigh”

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 day ago

"Did they do work on your face to make you less cute? Because I think they botched it."

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

I don't care that you used to be a dude, but I must say, the surgeon did an amazing job.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 day ago

"It looks perfect! That's why I thought you had work done!"

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

"Your boobs?"
"My boobs?!"
"Yeah, they look greeeeeeeat" *deliver as Tony the Tiger*

[–] [email protected] 3 points 14 hours ago

That has to be what she was fishing for.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 day ago (2 children)

"Honestly? You look so naturally beautiful I couldn't begin to guess. But if I had to, I'd say your most captivating thing about you is your eyes. Are they the real deal or someone fashion them from starlight?"

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

idk i'm just going to pull the "dont know don't care, card." lol

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 day ago

You should write for Hallmark movies.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 day ago

"The left one?"

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 day ago

“Oooh, I don’t know. Maaaaybeee your lips, because I can’t stop looking at them. But if you did, then your doctor is really good.

Deliver it light and kind of flirty and she’s not thinking about whatever trap that question is, she’s thinking about how you just told her you want to kiss her.

If it’s for any other reason - making sure an insecurity is unknown, wanting to springboard into a conversation, wanting to see how you react if she baits you into saying something dumb, or even having her own flirty line to deliver about it - she’ll probably get to it. Assuming you haven’t wooed her into a voracious make out session.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 day ago (4 children)

"They must have clipped off your wings, because you look like an angel."

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago

Since when was Anakin Skywalker on lemmy?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago

Did it hurt, when they clipped your wings and you took 1000d6 falling damage, m'lady?

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 day ago
[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 day ago (3 children)

"Or like some sort of succubus devil thing, I dunno."

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Horn removal and chopped off a spiky tail lol

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"Speaking of which...did it hurt when you broke through the Earth's crust while ascending from hell?"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

"Do demon women like you float out from volcanoes, or do you claw your way through dirt to get here from hell?"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

Hey, I'll take any action I can get.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

I was gonna finish with "...an ANGEL OF DEATH!!!" and start to air guitar. If she does the intro scream, she's a keeper.

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