this post was submitted on 24 Oct 2024
106 points (88.4% liked)

News

23232 readers
3351 users here now

Welcome to the News community!

Rules:

1. Be civil


Attack the argument, not the person. No racism/sexism/bigotry. Good faith argumentation only. This includes accusing another user of being a bot or paid actor. Trolling is uncivil and is grounds for removal and/or a community ban. Do not respond to rule-breaking content; report it and move on.


2. All posts should contain a source (url) that is as reliable and unbiased as possible and must only contain one link.


Obvious right or left wing sources will be removed at the mods discretion. We have an actively updated blocklist, which you can see here: https://lemmy.world/post/2246130 if you feel like any website is missing, contact the mods. Supporting links can be added in comments or posted seperately but not to the post body.


3. No bots, spam or self-promotion.


Only approved bots, which follow the guidelines for bots set by the instance, are allowed.


4. Post titles should be the same as the article used as source.


Posts which titles don’t match the source won’t be removed, but the autoMod will notify you, and if your title misrepresents the original article, the post will be deleted. If the site changed their headline, the bot might still contact you, just ignore it, we won’t delete your post.


5. Only recent news is allowed.


Posts must be news from the most recent 30 days.


6. All posts must be news articles.


No opinion pieces, Listicles, editorials or celebrity gossip is allowed. All posts will be judged on a case-by-case basis.


7. No duplicate posts.


If a source you used was already posted by someone else, the autoMod will leave a message. Please remove your post if the autoMod is correct. If the post that matches your post is very old, we refer you to rule 5.


8. Misinformation is prohibited.


Misinformation / propaganda is strictly prohibited. Any comment or post containing or linking to misinformation will be removed. If you feel that your post has been removed in error, credible sources must be provided.


9. No link shorteners.


The auto mod will contact you if a link shortener is detected, please delete your post if they are right.


10. Don't copy entire article in your post body


For copyright reasons, you are not allowed to copy an entire article into your post body. This is an instance wide rule, that is strictly enforced in this community.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago

I agree with this a lot. Boyfriend or girlfriend is the person you are romantically attached to. Partner is a MUCH stronger word, it implies teamwork and shared purpose; the understanding that you have each other's backs.

There are also plenty of people who are married for whom the word partner does not apply. It's sad.

I think a lot of people reject the title 'partner' because for a very long time before gay marriage was a thing, there was only 'civil partnerships' or 'civil unions' and thus 'partner' was the only accurate term, 'wife' or 'husband' couldn't apply as they weren't legally married. So they see 'partner' as a sort of 'almost as good' runner up.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

It's because of Borat.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm a millennial and I've always referred to my partner as such. Boyfriend and girlfriend always seemed so weirdly juvenile, and it's interesting to leave things ambiguous for people who are immediately expecting to categorise you.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Same. It's also just a better generic term. You can say "all my partners" instead of "my boyfriend, girlfriend, and wife". So much easier and still accurate.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 day ago

I didn't click the link.

hErE's WhY

[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 days ago (3 children)

What else are you supposed to say after "Howdy"?
There are no other legitimate options.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 days ago

neighbor, stranger, doody...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

Folks. It’s Big Tex approved. Come at me, bro. /s

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago

This is utterly ridiculous and borderline nonsensical.
Approved.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (5 children)

Nobody asked, but as a gay man I exclusively refer to my husband as "my husband." I never liked the term "partner." We didn't start a business together, and we're not cops. "Life partner" bothers me less, but it still seems stilted

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

My partner said the exact same thing. I've always preferred "partner" - it just sounds nicer, like more respectful, egalitarian. We're mixed gender so it's wife/husband, which just sounds so old-fashioned

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 days ago (1 children)

n+1 here, but I'm a bi woman married to a straight man and I've started using partner more recently because there's a lot of baggage in the history of power dynamics associated with the titles of husband and wife.

I also hope it makes people think for a minute if they need to ask me clarifying questions about my marriage status or sexuality/how the person I'm married to identifies.

At the same time, I totally understand the impact of not using generic words when it comes to gay marriage, where there was such a long fight to be recognized as husband and husband. So cheers to you and your husband!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Thank you, you've summed up a good clash of feelings around these terms with great economy.

When I (male) use the term wife to describe my relationship, I don't want to contribute to this feeling that I'm pulling for the default in an exclusionary kind of way. Like contributing to this cultured of presumed heteronormativity.

Better in my case to leave a little unsaid, so as to make room for other kinds of relationships.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

It's cool to be proud you're gay. Being proud your straight feels like all lives matter energy.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago

I miss when my gay friends all called their partners "lovers".

As in literally if they were introducing their boyfriend, it was never "this is my boyfriend Chris" it was "this is Chris, my lover."

No idea if it was just a local thing but it was just so, well, lovely.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Same. Gay and married to "my husband". Before that he was my boyfriend, not my partner.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Yes, my boyfriend! It seems so odd when I see straight people use the term partner. Well, as far as I'm concerned, they can have it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

My girlfriend isnt a girl anymore. She is a woman. So I think the term girlfriend is weird and childish

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yeah, and "womanfriend" has a real incel vibe to it.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 day ago

I got a ton of womenfriends bro!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)

As a man who has used the term partner in a heterosexual relationship, sometimes it is nice to have a term that implies a bigger commitment than “girlfriend” when you have no intention of marriage. That was definitely how I used it—to convey that this woman doesn’t have a ring, but I give her maximum authority when it comes to my affairs.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Can't relate. I grew up thinking marriage would always be illegal for me. When I had the opportunity, I took it.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I’m glad you had that chance. Marriage is something I never particularly wanted, but I was brought around to the idea by a different lady. Now we are in counseling and things are on the rocks…I think I may still not believe in marriage, but I respect everyone’s right to choose for themselves.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Hey man.

I hope that whatever happens with you and your wife, that you'll be happy and have a bright and good future.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Thanks, I appreciate that. It’s a weird thing when two intelligent people with good intentions suddenly experience a breakdown in communication, but I’m hoping that is what the counseling can help with.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I never knew this was considered wierd anywhere.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

One of my coworkers gave me tons of crap for me saying it. But she was dumb.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago

Back in the day it did sound weird. Partner was usually a business relationship, not a romantic one, and it was almost exclusively used by the LGBT crowd.

More gender neutral terms are good, but they're still going to sound odd to folks who spent 40+ years hearing the terms used in a different way. That's just how progress goes, older folks eventually will either get used to it, or be the weird relative ignored at holidays.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 days ago

My parents have always referred to each other as their partner, so that's what I've always done. It's just normal.

Since moving to the US people get so weird about it. I had a boss's boss ask me why I call my wife my partner in a skip-level. I was so confused I just stared at her and said "What?" It was like being ask why I think oranges are citrus fruit.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Mine and I are getting married this week and we were both excited to see "spouse" as an option on the documents.

We are now spouse and spouse.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

I thought it was cool to see it when we got married a few years ago as well, though we opted to go with husband and wife.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Congratulations to you both!

[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 days ago (1 children)

We are now spouse and spouse.

As a couple you are spice

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago

This is by far the best thing we've heard on this and both love it!

We well cherish this for our whole marriage lol

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago
load more comments
view more: next ›