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Originally r/DataisBeautiful
It's been trending this way for years, but seeing it graphed out like this is shocking.
What do you think are the effects of this drastic change?
I met my partner through friends at the EXACT point where “Through friends” intersects with “online”. Interesting.
I wish there was some granularity to "online." I met my wife on a BBS in 94. It wasn't a dating site, it was a discussion board, and neither of us was looking to hook up with anyone. There are lots of things like that, but I'm guessing dating apps/sites are the biggest component.
The number of people that met on BBS would probably not even register as a line on that graph, lol. You are a rare gem, good sir or madam.
Huh. I never knew that people really do meet at bars for more than just a one night stand.
It is more that you meet them for a one night stand. Then you decide to hang out later. Then you wake up one day and you two are married with children.
Yeah, one night stands can turn into lasting relationships. I know a decent number of married couples who met in zero-commitment contexts, whether it's a hookup from a bar or while on vacation in a tourist town or things like that. Or even meeting on a hookup-oriented app that somehow turned into a not-just-for-hookups service after becoming acquired by Match, but during the phase when it was most definitely mainly for no-strings hookups.
It's almost like something happened in 2020 to cause a big spike. I wonder what that could have been, and if it is still the case.
Ah, life is full of mysteries.
Except the graph ends with 2020, so I'm not sure it even includes whatever mystery events might have biased things towards online that year.
I’m sure off loading the human mating ritual to profit driven companies will have no negative effects on society whatsoever, this definitely isn’t the horrors here to unseen except in the most dystopian of science fiction novels.
Is there anything we can't privatize for profit?
Can't privatize individuals' bodily functions, but you can enshitify the experience of all senses, "Want to turn off the lights at night? That's 5 dollars per hour. Want to enable the flush of your toilet? That'll be 7.50, thank you. In order to remove the noise from your apartment, please pay the subscription. If you want to get rid of ALL the noises, pay the diamond premium sub!"
Want to turn off the lights at night? That's $5 per hour.
And of course you will pay $6 per hour to keep them on, gotta squeeze 'em at both ends after all.
To think it all started with DoD nerds hooking up in the 80s.
Yeah not sure what they mean by "online" in the early 80s. That was even too early for BBS to really be a big thing. Like there were people out there messing with that stuff. I had a modem for my MSX in 80s, where you put the horn on the modem to interface. But besides from dialing my one friend who also had one and being amazed at the tech, it had no real use. The graph makes it seem like an actual percentage of people were not only online, but meeting their future partners on there? That makes me doubt the validity of this graph.
Could be early IT people meeting secretaries and the like when visiting to fix the internet.
It doesn't split, but I'd guess 99.9% of those online meets are dating apps (rather than other ways of meeting online).
That's kind of sad, not because there's any one way people should meet, but because meeting people is now mostly mediated through for profit companies.
You didn't meet your spouse on World of Warcraft?
I feel called out lmao
I like the idea of dating apps, but I don't like the implementation or at least how they end up being used where the focus is entirely on visual attraction. I don't particularly think or care about looks; I'm attracted to personality. Most people have blank profiles and just a lot of pictures, so I either have to decide to not like a majority of profiles or like everything just to maybe get a chance to talk to someone.
And it doesn't help having BPD and not really having a solid identity to tell people who I am in a single block of limited characters. So when nobody even communicates when you actually match, it just makes the whole thing seem pointless and stupid.
I met my wife through eHarmony. I tried the other apps available at the time (mid 2000s) and most were "profile pic & swipe" level of depth. eHarmony had a fee (so both parties were at least a little more committed to finding a partner, rather than "sign up for free account while drinking one night"). Also it had maybe 100(?) questions you had to fill out before it'd give you any matches... basically a quasi personality profile about what you were like and what you were looking for in a relationship. The result was fewer matches, but all the dates I went on were meaningful (eventually leading to ~15 years of marriage & 2 kids).
There's now additional dating sites beyond just eHarmony that have this barrier to entry which seems similar (although I don't have personal experience with those).
I have not online dated. Are the people with blank profiles interesting people at all? Or are they just there for a hookup?
Kinda depends on their gender, in my experience. Guys without a profile and pics of just themselves not really doing much are usually just looking for a hookup. The girls without a profile are usually what is generally accepted as highly attractive and probably don't even care because everyone will like them.
I have yet to actually have someone talk to me on any of these apps beyond saying hello or asking how my day is. I had better luck actually finding people to talk to, get to know, then set up a date through Craigslist back when it had a personals section.
furries
The few times I’ve had friends set me up never ended well. Those were usually the worst, in terms of compatibility.
It’s funny I guess how friends view you. Either that or they just want their friend groups to be one big “family”.
I’m not surprised to see such a huge drop there.
I met my spouse online in the naughts, and it was unusual and required explaining to most people.
Why does online shoot up as soon as it surpasses friends?
It has to be smartphone apps coming out
For "through friends", I feel like a lot of larger friend networks have collapsed. People aren't friends with as many people as large get togethers have become rarer over time.
There are stories of people who met once at a long event and then maintained contact over time. Now, everyone would be on their phone.