this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2024

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How Couples Meet in the US (lemmy.world)

submitted 22 hours ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

133 comments fedilink hide all child comments

It's been trending this way for years, but seeing it graphed out like this is shocking.

What do you think are the effects of this drastic change?

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

The last really serious relationship started by meeting at a bar.

It was great because there was no expectations when we first started talking so the conversation was just natural, just two people talking. We exchanged numbers and soon started dating. I really think that it worked was because it was just an accidental meeting and we were both relaxed and had no ulterior motive.

I also think because dating in the wild there are fewer filters and few options, so you go with what you got. They may not be perfect but it's better than sitting around swiping for the perfect person that may not exist.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 hours ago

They may not be perfect but it’s better than sitting around swiping for the perfect person that may not exist.

I actually appreciate having information on personality, background, hobbies and dating intentions up-front, rather than play a guessing game for hours or days.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 hours ago

Yup. I'm an awkward fellow but still have far better results approaching people in bars than on apps. People on apps are constantly pursuing the perfect match (including their perfect match) so everyone is collectively disappointed.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

If anyone is jumping into this thread: ctrl+f "fake". There is a good discussion about the data that you shouldn't miss.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 hours ago

Thanks, yeah that's why I came here. For me though it is that a few percent got together in 1980 / early 80s. Now I vaguely remember the 80s and the "internet" from then. I can't imagine any got together from "online dating" then or the internet overall. Do you have a concept of what "internet" was then?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 11 hours ago

For me, the big question isn't what are the effects, but rather, what is the cause?

I see this as an effect of something else that other effects of could be mistaken as symptoms of this here.

Basically, the destruction of third spaces and public life in general has caused an increasing number of people to find relationships (both romantic and platonic) online because they no longer have the opportunity in their daily life. That, and the increased ease of long distance relationships and meeting people from far away means that people are probably more likely to have the opportunity to fall in love with somebody outside of their tiny corner of the world.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 12 hours ago

Meeting online seems like the best way to me. Better to date people you have stuff in common with rather than just picking your partners through circumstance.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 13 hours ago

A lot of people here are too young to get it, but work being a captive dating scene for skeezy shameless assholes is a million times worse than online dating.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 14 hours ago

I'm personally thrilled not to be bound by the recommendations of my friends or family. Or work?! Gross!

People: "Oh hey there Digital Frontier, looking forward to the opportunity" The Permanently Online: "Get out of my swamp!"

[–] [email protected] 0 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

Pathetic. Glad I did not meet better half on the f'n internet.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 13 hours ago

You meet the person you decide to be with where you meet them. I don't know where your judgemental tone comes from, perhaps bad experiences or just some stereotype. If two people meet, find they're a good match, and the relationship works, why are some ways pathetic while presumably others are the "correct" way?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

two of my friends met through an online game. they got married this year and are a happy couple.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 13 hours ago

Married 35 years. Met online in the 80s. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, just like any other method.

It's interesting to follow each line and see how time has affected it. I noted the "Work" line and how it goes up as women move into the workplace. Also how "Family", "Neighbor", and "Grade School" drop some as it became more normal for people to move away from their hometowns for careers or college.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 14 hours ago

I first dated online in 1999, and the first woman I dated I ended up marrying and having two kids with, though we divorced in 2017.

I still date online these days, and I prefer it. It allows me to know a little about a person before I waste any time chatting them up, and the things I need to know are things they generally put on their profile. Things like their sexuality (since I am non-binary), their political leaning (I'm socialist), their relationship orientation (I'm polyamorous), whether our values match...you know...important shit. And those early conversations before we ever meet in person are low-key enough that I feel more comfortable with them IRL, something that helps me as an autistic person.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 15 hours ago (4 children)

The collapse of society, visualized.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 9 hours ago

I don't understand it so it must be bad.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 13 hours ago

Wrong thread or phone bad?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 13 hours ago

Explain your thesis.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 14 hours ago

/c/dataisdepressing

[–] [email protected] 0 points 16 hours ago

That is kinda sad

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