this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2024
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Political Memes

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Pull yourself up by your sandal straps

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

It was the best of Jesuses, it was the worst of Jesuses,

it was the Jesus of Do Onto Others, it was the Jesus of Martyring Thyself,

it was the Jesus of The Last Will Be First, it was the Jesus Seated At The Right Hand,

it was the Jesus of Turn the Other Cheek, it was the Jesus of I come not to bring Peace but The Sword,

it was the Jesus of Universal Salvation, it was the Jesus of The Apocalyptic End of All Things,

we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way –

in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest evangelicals insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

[–] [email protected] 66 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I doubt Southern Christians could understand the sarcasm, but I still want a campaign of billboard signs with quotes like these across bible country

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Southern Christians had their own version of the Bible to justify slavery. They told these stories to their slaves.

TIME: How Christian Slaveholders Used the Bible to Justify Slavery

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Do you know if they still adhere to the slavery Bible? If so, they probably wouldn't even know how far from what Jesus actually taught they are, and our billboards would be useless lol

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's a gofundme I would throw a few bucks at. How much does it cost to take a few billboards for a month or two on I-40? A few thousand?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I don't really know where I-40 is or have an answer to your question, so this comment is tangential at best. Sorry.

Last time I drove through Ohio there were two kinds of billboards, often alternating:

  1. Jesus hates sinners! Repent!
  2. Hardcore strip club with naked ladies and full penetration, next right!

It was quite an entertaining dichotomy.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

This is interstate 40.

Your experience is very similar to what my trip through SC on I-95 was. But with some occasional regional things. We went a little out away from 95 just to cross buc-ees off the bucket list.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

i can't stand that spaz

spreading garbage morals that I have to listen to from Gimp God Apologists such as:

  1. pay your taxes to oppressive empires, lol
  2. can't solve poverty, fam
  3. defending yourself is actually killing yourself
  4. slavery? no broad complaints, why?
  5. of course i can forgive the sins you committed against completely different people
[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago

Then Jesus said to the children "Pull yourselves up by your bootstraps".

[–] [email protected] 83 points 1 month ago

Supply side Jesus!

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (4 children)

And then Jesus said: "It's her fault that she got raped and pregnant. Kick her out of our community, that whore."

He probably really said that at some point in his life.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

That's some old testament shit though, technically doesn't apply to christians.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

He probably really said that

"Take her from this place, and bring her back to my place, where my own hands will see she receives that which she is due."

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I think you're quoting somebody else.

But for a real quote,

Let him who is without sin throw the first stone.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I think you’re quoting somebody else.

An oblique reference to a Monty Python bit about a judge ordering a bailiff to escort an accused prostitute back to his house. I'd dig up the clip but can't seem to find one on YouTube.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Ah, that makes a lot more sense.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

And then Jesus said "yeah, but what was she wearing?"

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I mean, he accepted Mary Magdalene who was a literal prostitute.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Mary Magdalene was not a prostitute. That's a common misconception.

The portrayal of Mary Magdalene as a prostitute began in 591, when Pope Gregory I identified Mary Magdalene, who was introduced in Luke 8:2, with Mary of Bethany (Luke 10:39) and the unnamed "sinful woman" who anointed Jesus's feet in Luke 7:36–50.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Magdalene

But Jesus was most certainly very accepting of people from all walks of life. That was like his whole purpose. So the other comment about him rejecting people from the community is dead wrong. If anything, people reproached him because he was too accepting of the "sinners".

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

Mary Magdalene was not a prostitute.

Part of the problem with all of these stories is that they're largely intended as parables and are cobbled together from a litany of testimonials of which only four remain canonical.

Mary as a holy woman and as a sex symbol aren't in contradiction. Quite a few of the early underground Christian organizations had their own bacchanals and orgiastic rituals, right in line with the traditions of their Roman-Era Middle Eastern peers. Age the stories 580 years and put them within the context of a far more conservative and doctrinaire church, obsessed with lineages and bloodlines rather than parties and popular evangelism, and Mary transforms from a kind-of Aphrodite-esque esoteric priestess into a harlot running a brothel.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

That's just him acknowledging sex work is work

[–] [email protected] -2 points 1 month ago

Everybody needs a squeeze...

Ghandi had teenagers around him for totally not sex.