this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

Mines already out in the open

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

"Not looking, not looking at your penis at all. " ... "So sorry about your penis." [Little Britain]

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

Jokes on them, my dick information is already all over the web!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

ooo so that's why they never seem to work, makes so much sense now! /j

[–] [email protected] 39 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

il_1588xN.1998833855_27ng-4090175647

That's why I invest in wireless, RFID resistant, anti-flash dick screening devices. Wake up sheeple!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

But does it need to be tamper proof as well?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

Its not just tamper proof, it's future proof!

One day they'll want to manually inspect your cock before getting on a plane.

Well I'm sorry Mr. TSA, my WMD is none of your business.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago

My pp information is public, Im not hiding anything - what are you people hiding??

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Jokes on them. They're gonna need a longer lens.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago

(awkwardly long zooming noises)

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

All is fine, but I'm still curious: how many do you have?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

at least one. at most nine.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 days ago (1 children)

real shit, these things are mechanical turks. they really are cameras that are live streaming to centers in third world countries. when the poorly paid operator sees you're done, he sends the flush signal to the toilet. if you've ever been in a bathroom where the "sensor is broken" and it seems to flush at random, it's because they just keep flushing it periodically if they can't get a visual. real truth

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

We were just training AI flushers this whole time?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago (2 children)

fwiw if it dont autoflush just press the smaller black dot

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

How does no one I work with understand this?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 days ago (2 children)

My dick won't reach that high

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

sounds like a personal problem

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

Skill issue

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago
[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

How else would we keep the girls out of the mens room? I personally am willing to give up a little privacy if it means protection from A foreign government, besides you don’t have anything to worry about as long as you have a dick, and to those arguing that those of us with smaller than average members might get thrown in prison unjustly I say just grow a bigger slong, Besides are people with small penis really men? I mean yeah technically it’s on there birth certificate but come on.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

Small penises are a lifestyle choice

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

Error: Please make sure your junk fills up the entire target area for accurate data collection.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago

LMAO, jokes on them not going to be able to see mine without a microscope.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago

There can be only one.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago

Ngl you gonna need a bigger one

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 days ago (1 children)

"No data collected, subject not big enough to register. "

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

glad I'm not alone here.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Damn. They are automating penis inspection day? What are creeps to do now?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

Automation stealing our jobs again. My grandpa was a penis inspector. He worked long, hard hours to put three kids through school and food on the table.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

We're suffering... How do you expect me to feed my family when I have to compete with HAL here?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago

I care a lot about my prickvacy!

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 days ago (1 children)

What does matter is length times diameter plus weight over girth divided by angle of the tip squared.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

I have so many questions. Are you measuring angle from the vertical or the horizontal? Whereabouts should I be placing the ruler for that tangent? Are we using metric or imperial units? If metric, is it square centimetres or kilograms per cm, and if it's imperial, is it square inches or ounces per inch per square degree?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 days ago

Good luck, I encrypted my dick data.

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