Mines already out in the open
Lemmy Shitpost
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
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Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
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Content
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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
"Not looking, not looking at your penis at all. " ... "So sorry about your penis." [Little Britain]
Jokes on them, my dick information is already all over the web!
ooo so that's why they never seem to work, makes so much sense now! /j
That's why I invest in wireless, RFID resistant, anti-flash dick screening devices. Wake up sheeple!
But does it need to be tamper proof as well?
Its not just tamper proof, it's future proof!
One day they'll want to manually inspect your cock before getting on a plane.
Well I'm sorry Mr. TSA, my WMD is none of your business.
My pp information is public, Im not hiding anything - what are you people hiding??
Jokes on them. They're gonna need a longer lens.
(awkwardly long zooming noises)
All is fine, but I'm still curious: how many do you have?
at least one. at most nine.
real shit, these things are mechanical turks. they really are cameras that are live streaming to centers in third world countries. when the poorly paid operator sees you're done, he sends the flush signal to the toilet. if you've ever been in a bathroom where the "sensor is broken" and it seems to flush at random, it's because they just keep flushing it periodically if they can't get a visual. real truth
We were just training AI flushers this whole time?
fwiw if it dont autoflush just press the smaller black dot
How does no one I work with understand this?
My dick won't reach that high
sounds like a personal problem
Skill issue
🤏
How else would we keep the girls out of the mens room? I personally am willing to give up a little privacy if it means protection from A foreign government, besides you don’t have anything to worry about as long as you have a dick, and to those arguing that those of us with smaller than average members might get thrown in prison unjustly I say just grow a bigger slong, Besides are people with small penis really men? I mean yeah technically it’s on there birth certificate but come on.
Small penises are a lifestyle choice
Error: Please make sure your junk fills up the entire target area for accurate data collection.
LMAO, jokes on them not going to be able to see mine without a microscope.
There can be only one.
Ngl you gonna need a bigger one
"No data collected, subject not big enough to register. "
glad I'm not alone here.
Damn. They are automating penis inspection day? What are creeps to do now?
Automation stealing our jobs again. My grandpa was a penis inspector. He worked long, hard hours to put three kids through school and food on the table.
We're suffering... How do you expect me to feed my family when I have to compete with HAL here?
I care a lot about my prickvacy!
What does matter is length times diameter plus weight over girth divided by angle of the tip squared.
I have so many questions. Are you measuring angle from the vertical or the horizontal? Whereabouts should I be placing the ruler for that tangent? Are we using metric or imperial units? If metric, is it square centimetres or kilograms per cm, and if it's imperial, is it square inches or ounces per inch per square degree?
Good luck, I encrypted my dick data.