this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2024
652 points (97.1% liked)

Programmer Humor

32476 readers
420 users here now

Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)

Rules:

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

My first and third job had daily standup, my second and fourth job don't have daily standup. I'm on my fourth job. I love not having standup.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

I love how bright bulbs have utterly perverted the spirit of agile development into something so horrible that people are memifying ignoring it rather than trying to fix it.

Repeat after me: If standup takes any more than a minute or two per person you're really really doing it wrong and it isn't standup anymore and needs to be staked, buried and the earth salted that it may never rise again.

For an act of socially immature but oh so satisfying passive aggressive resistance, leave a copy of the Agile Manifesto on your scrum master's desk :)

(Or, if you think they'd be receptive, talk to them about moving long form reporting to any other medium so stand-up can be a simple meeting where folks give blocked/not blocked status and, where blocked, resources are directed to help.

that's it.

Stand-ups where Mortimer from the Front End team gives a 30 minute treatise on why react is a horrible fit for your application ARE IN FACT NOT STAND-UPS.

They're just poorly run meetings in an agile trench coat.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Most standups are bad because they're not used as a quick collaboration tool, they're used as a demonstration to prove you're working, and then the least productive people talk the most because they're the most desperate to prove they're working.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Right along with story points.

Not meant to be a measurement of time, but of effort. But everyone ends up using them as a measure of time because that is what the MBA at the end of the tables wants.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

My current company treats effort the same as time. I can appreciate that they're at least honest about that lol

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If I was a in charge of a business I would put a hard email filter (including externally) on corporate jargon because it is too vague and people just use it to seem smarter than they really are. The no-reply would give a lengthy explanation on why it's bad practice.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Hmm, I wonder how often it would generate a false positive and force someone to reword something innocuous. My guess is that it would be relatively rare.

Dope. Put garbage language where it belongs.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

I called in sick today so I could skip all the meetings lol

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

In a standup comedy act whenever I get on my feet (optional).
Dont really have a choice in not attending that event.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

My boss doesn't do meetings. Every once in a while he approves my vacation request and I get notified it's approved. Sounds better than it is, but it is better than pointless daily meetings. Adult daycare crap.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

My new boss just cancelled all of our daily standup meetings that were introduced by the previous management. Reason given: "I have seen nothing valuable here during the last two weeks."

I like him.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

My boss is usually doing WFM and HR duties instead of her own, so no meetings for me either! So far I have a perfect performance record!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I get every week or so, but every day is just way too much. I'm a big kid, that's what you hired me for, let me work.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Also then there are Jour Fixes and standups for the side projects you got rented out too and and and

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Jour Fixe

I don't think they use that term in English. And even more surprising, they don't even use it in French. It's a French loanword that somehow only exists in German.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (2 children)

It absolutely gets used in English speaking companies. I've got one in my work calendar as a reoccurring event.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

I’ve lived in the US for about half a century and have never heard this.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Just to be sure, who created the invite? A German native speaker by chance?

The first page of results when I deliberately google in English "what is a Jour Fixe" are the following:

Some of that may be personalized to me as a Swiss user of course. But it seems a bit much to be a coincidence. Maybe it is a loan word making its way from German into English now.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

I speak a little bit of German, but no, the guy who created the series is a native English speaker with Afrikaans as his second language.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Interesting, thanks for sharing. I love these linguistic quirks.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Counterpoint: If you're working from home it might be the only people contact you get for days.

Supposedly talking to people and touching grass is healthy.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

My fear of working full-remote. I mean I got enough friends, but still that's significant less social time, when not being in something like a coworking space... Although other benefits are really tempting (like 2 to 3 times the salary)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Wait, you earn more to not commute?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I mean I can just take a job in the states, they pay quite a bit more there compared to Europe, and it can be even more targeted in the area of my interest (low-level stuff in Rust which pays even better than what I can find here)... Locally the jobs are pretty limited (at least those that interest me)... Everyone wants Java/C# or JS devs here (all languages I'll try to avoid, and I suspect it has to do with maintaining old (tech-debt) code-bases which I try to avoid even more)... But I'm quite happy with my team currently and just have rant about JS everyday, but at least don't have to maintain tech-debt (at least not something that I haven't produced myself^^)... And I get great food for free... Hmm trade-offs.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hmm, are they finally hiring internationally? Americans are historically funny about that.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

I mean at least the jobs that interest me often are also (full) remote, but I'm mostly interested in start-ups, they seem to be more open with it (and the job descriptions sound more interesting). I think Covid did its job there, unlike it seems for big tech?

load more comments
view more: next ›