this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2024
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United States | News & Politics

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Trump to CIA: I need you to stage a false flag terror attack

CIA: Sure thing boss which country

Trump: no within America

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Couldn't even pull off a Reichstag fire.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

I mean, if they were going to try and burn down the Capitol Building, clearly the right people to have blamed would be us Canadians. We do have a bit of history doing just that. 😏

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Wait, so is Mexican Joker not real? I was sure that was real. It sounded so real!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Possibly a few real ones, too!

[–] [email protected] 60 points 1 month ago (5 children)

I've been waiting for the ideal time to unmask myself, and now seems as good a time as any.

It is I. I am the president and CEO of Antifa, and I rule with an iron fist.

I'll take your questions now.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Are you hiring ?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hi! Yes, I have a question.

Grocery prices have been hitting hard lately, and I'm looking into alternative meat sources. I would like to know if I were to join your company, could we literally eat the rich? Or, second best, take all their stuff?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

God knows what wierd chemicals they are marinating in, and most of them are busy amassing private armies and creating microstates while working to erode the checks that currently limit their ability to essentially act as actual sovereign citizen, so it wouldn't exactly be very calorically rewarding compared to the effort, but...

NEXT!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What's your company culture like? What are the perks of working for antifa?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Same answer to both questions: fash bashin'

NEXT!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So no 401k or dental than? No thanks.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

Not OP, but I'll field this part. Where we're going 401Ks and dental won't be needed.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I've heard rumors of unionizing at antifa. What is your strategy for dealing with that?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Obvious conservative plant question. Collective action itself is the iron fist with which I rule, thus a Union would be redundant.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago (2 children)

If you're antipho, what's your soup of choice?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

That's a joke for radio. NEXT!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If they're antipho we can safely assume their opinions on soup aren't worth a damn.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Gazpacho, like revenge, is best served cold.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Every article that says the word "anarchist" should go out of their way to say that its not illegal to be a capitalist, a communist, or an anarchist. Its a legitimate political ideology thats been around for centuries.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Actually of all the “others” or “out groups” that exist, anarchists are the ones I cannot fucking take.

Irony begin that I’m more aligned to their politics that I am to any of the others, I’ve just never met one that I like. Meta irony being that that is probably the most anarchic position to hold on other anarchists but I wouldn’t out money on that.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

That's strange. I've never met an anarchist that I didn't like. They're usually the kindest and most selfless people.

Maybe try going to a mutual aid action, like Food Not Bombs?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Corporate media are never going to consider socialism legitimate any more than Homeland Security will, because it goes against capitalist class’ interests.

[–] [email protected] 76 points 1 month ago

As soon as they announced that "antifa is a terrorist organization" I then knew exactly what they were up to. So the narrative was "fascism is good, and your a threat if you try to stop it".

[–] [email protected] 55 points 1 month ago (2 children)

[security contractors joined by officers hailing from across the federal government] converged for a mission dubbed “Operation Diligent Valor,” authorized under Executive Order 13933, purportedly to apprehend “anarchists and left-wing extremists” who’d been driven by Floyd’s murder to target U.S. monuments commemorating slave owners and Confederate traitors — dangerous individuals, Trump said, advancing a “fringe ideology” painting the U.S. government as “fundamentally unjust.”

Irony is dead.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)

My p-doc is from Vietnam and went on an unsolicited rant on how you should never trust the government. Trump is literally the inverse of sanity.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

At this point, the people who like him aren’t looking for sanity. They’re looking for their daily Two Minutes Hate.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

...that actually makes a disturbing amount of sense. a very disturbing amount of sense.

I'm gonna go smoke a joint

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

And yet he takes many many people with him. Trump, not your doc.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

That's just double speak at this point. We've always been at war with easteasia.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

Definitely not surprised anymore.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)