this post was submitted on 06 Sep 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago

It's not that good a show. There's definitely something wrong with you.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I think anon never heard about the bird

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

The bird is greater than or equal to the word.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Is the word about a certain avian variety?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Oh, have you not heard? It was my understanding that everyone had heard…

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird

B-b-b-bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word

A-well-a bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word

A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word

A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word

A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word

A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word

A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word

A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word

A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word

A-well-a don't you know about the bird?

Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word!

A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word

A-well-a...

A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird

Bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word

A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word

A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word

A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word

A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word

A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word

A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word

A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word

A-well-a don't you know about the bird?

Well, everybody's talking about the bird!

A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word

A-well-a bird...

Surfin' bird

Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb... [retching noises]... aaah!

Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-

Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ooma-mow-mow

Papa-ooma-mow-mow

Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow

Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow

Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow

Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow

Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow

Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow

Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-oom-oom-oom

Oom-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow

Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow

Papa-a-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow

Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow

Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow

Papa-oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow

Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow

Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow

Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow

Well don't you know about the bird?

Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word!

A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word

Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow

[repeat to fade]

[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 month ago

is something wrong with me?

Yes

[–] [email protected] 57 points 1 month ago

8 hours of work, 8 hours of sleep, 48 hours of Family Guy

[–] [email protected] 140 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Anon has undiagnosed obsessive-compulsive behavior triggered by family trauma. Family guy sates his longing for a functional family where people talk to each other about what's bothering them, and an albeit formulaic structure, which he is missing in his real life.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago

Or he could just really like family guy

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 month ago

shut up, Brian

[–] [email protected] 118 points 1 month ago (3 children)

That's a very convenient diagnosis, but this is still armchair psychology

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Wait til we get started about Sonic.

[–] [email protected] 61 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Jokes on you, I don't even own an armchair.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)

So you own a psychologist?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

yes, and also he is the armchair

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I keep him in a box, if that’s what you’re asking.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

But is he alive or dead in that box?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 102 points 1 month ago

Shut up, Meg

[–] [email protected] 98 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Gee Louis, that reminds me of the time I lost my job after watching Family Guy for 48 hours straight

[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 month ago

CUT TO PETER AND HIS FATHER

PETER (screaming and fighting his father) You can't oppress me!

etc.