You can't make "The Princess Bride" nowadays because optimism and feel good emotions aren't things that we're allowed to have anymore.
this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2024
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Idiocracy
You would get sued by FOX 'News' for copying their daily programming.
Ah, because of the pro eugenics position in the movie? I dunno, I feel like they'd like for there to be more "past good, present degeneracy" type narratives around.
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You cannot make the Minecraft movie nowadays.... you simply cannot, Warner Bros.
I hope that movie burns and WB loses a fuck ton of money for vindication of Coyote vs Acme
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You couldn't make Titanic today because it wouldn't be believable... Leonardo Decaprio dating a woman his own age? Preposterous!
Perhaps if Rose was played by Kate Winslet's daughter
She's like 25, so there's not much time I suppose.
You couldn't make Home Alone 2 today because the creators would sue you for copyright infringement.
Daybreakers.
First, it's a mid-budget movie, and Hollywood doesn't make much of those nowadays.
Secondly, it commits to a wild premise: vampires become the dominant life form in the world. It's fun, but the actors play it straight. If the tried to do that now, it'd be full of quips and winking at the audience rather than committing to the bit.
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You couldn't make Back to the Future II today because a positive outlook on the future is no longer believable even for a family film.
You just have to switch the first and second future, the default future is the Biff timeline, then you have to change the future to make the hoverboard timeline.
That would actually be so cool but I can already see the scathing online criticisms:
"New WOKE BTTF2 ruins a family movie with vulgar dystopian future, not an ounce of original thinking in the writer's room. Entire second act of film missing as plot is resolved in only 1 trip."
Might be better to just stick to original stories and concepts, tbh.
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Also you couldn't make Home Alone 2 today because most of the actors are a lot older now.
Now I want to see a 44-year old McCauley Culkin doing a new home alone, where his kids forget him at home.
Home Alone where Culkin plays Kevin again, but he's an adult and paranoid about people breaking into his house while his wife is on vacation, so he's rigged the whole thing as a death trap.
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I'd rather see a remake/reboot where Culkin plays a character similar to old man Marley, accidentally scaring the kid character as a local urban legend. Similar to the scene in the church in the classic, he could empathize with the kid of the movie by talking about how he once wished that his family left him alone in that time of year too, and he quickly found that he regretted that wish and he missed them terribly. A decent writer could roll with that concept and still make it a great scene where the kid has wise advice to impart so it's not just a soulless excuse for people to go "hey, that's OG Kevin!" I'm not that writer, but hopefully a good writer reads this and can get a solid idea together to pitch so I can see that movie in my lifetime.
I want to see a new Home Alone where 44-year old McCauley Culkin plays an 8 year old and no one acknowledges that he isn't actually 8 years old.
Hey if Martin Short could do it, so csn McCauly
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