We dont talk about the mythical fourth toot.
this post was submitted on 20 Aug 2024
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I literally laughed so hard I cried.
I laughed so hard I legit farted.
I didn't laugh, but I shat myself to compensate.
I chuckled softly and did a mild burp.
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Fight fire with fire.
Toot-o-meter.
Test toot!
Ah really?! I can smell it from here!
I had a female employee come to me to complain years ago. She had had a disagreement with an older male employee (thankfully not mine) some weeks prior, and since then, every time he walked by her cube, he'd pause at her doorway, fart, and then keep walking without saying anything.
She at least was aware of how absolutely ridiculous it was, but legitimately didn't think it was something she should have to deal with. One of the stranger management issues.
Pretty textbook workplace harassment but I'm not sure how you'd prove it. Tape him with a clearly displayed fart face? Be sure to label one of stills with a red circle and a line saying "fart face"
She wasn't interested in suing, she just wanted him to stop farting in her doorway. I didn't know the guy, so I started by talking to his manager, who talked to the guy. Sounds like he initially tried to deny it, but in a way that made it clear he was doing it on purpose. His boss was pretty clear that it wouldn't be tolerated and it never happened again.
Some people are so weird and petty.
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Well, next time I need to fart while lecturing I know what I'm doing...
While at your desk make direct and sustained eye contact in silence. Once you know you have him gently say "poop poop" then violently shit yourself. Everything is about shitting, except shitting. Shitting is about power.
I'm not sure you'd win. This is a man with decades of Pavlovian training, who can literally fart on command given the right keyword. It's a pretty wild gamble to assume that "poop poop" is not in his repertoire.
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Dominance is the key
this whole thread, I'm crying
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Keep your distance?
Record the farts. Sample the audio. Create music.
Theres a band called the Toot Toot Toots:
https://youtu.be/0_pqvod-xOw?si=Xqwk2g1nVMbDSkhP
Personally, i think this song and music video slaps
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The copyright issues could be interesting.
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I'd honestly ask them if they'd seen a doctor about that. No one should be that gassy on a regular basis.
All I do is fart. Except during the times when I'm holding in my farts so I can keep living among society. But even then I'm just quietly belching under my breath. All I am is gas. Held together in the loose shape of a man by the surface tension in a bubble of cheeseburger grease and the force of my will to eat another. Just one more. My urine is carbonated.
.
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