the woke moralists want you to believe you can’t already talk to plants
this post was submitted on 12 Feb 2024
769 points (100.0% liked)
196
16509 readers
2338 users here now
Be sure to follow the rule before you head out.
Rule: You must post before you leave.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Become a dragon that hunts billionaires to make a horde of wealth for yourself. I'd watch that.
I feel like all of these are just normal things in the real world aside from become a dragon.
We got steroids, weed, you can already talk to plants, you can just buy a plane ticket to fly.
Modern life is wildly magic.
- Drink the purple one
- Jump off a cliff
- Realize I took the wrong purple one
- Still relaxed though
- survive an crawl up again, relaxed
- drink the right purple one
- jump off the cliff again
- realize what flight actually stands for
- still relaxed though
"Become a dragon" is right there, so why would anyone even choose anything else!?
Can I in become a dragon and then rebecome as many times as needed?
When my cat yawns I want to stick a finger in his mouth, and dragon talons are far too big for that.
As a dragon you could have a pet Tiger. Your talon will fit in their mouth.
Especially, like, flight?
What would force someone to want to fly and NOT be a dragon?
It would also cover strength. And courage, considering you're a freaking dragon! And depending on the type of dragon, poison breath could be covered too.
True!
You mean a *dead dragon?
I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels permanently suicidal.
I mean if I have to keep living, can't I at least kill then slowly and painfully?
I'll take the "talk to plants" potion since it changes LITERALLY NOTHING, and I don't want any additional powers myself.
Except now you're wracked with crippling guilt every time you mow the lawn, chop up veggies for dinner, or walk by some poor little scrawny weed growing out of a crack in the sidewalk.
Except plant never developed language or even neurons to process thought. You drink the "Talk to plants" potion and the world is just as silent as it was before.
It was recently discovered that plants do talk to each other. It's still being studied.
That is really old news. Whole forests do this. But that's still not talking.
If that's what a "talk" to plants drink does, I'd love to get a "talk" to humans drink. Imagine the psychology experiments I could set up if I could understand the subconscious pheromone, posture, subvocal, and other various poorly understood methods of communication!
Ok thats a half empty glass of sunshine if I ever saw one. How you guna spend your time conversing with something that'll live less than a year, shit out a bunch of seeds, then die? Why not find out what the Oaks, Cypresses'ses', Hemlocks and Maples have to say about the day America was conceived, birthed, crawled, walked, flew, first fuck last fuck. Shit I'd retire and walk the trails listening to stories from something that has expierienced 3 life spans.
These kind of posts always have weird ones like Poison Breath.
Why would I want that? To kill people? Mustard gas is easy to make and I'd just get arrested anyways.
The only reasonable use I can think of is if you wanted to start a pest control company... woo?
Instant death may be useful if it's like the Death Note, or else you'd also just get arrested.
Instant death may be useful if it’s like the Death Note, or else you’d also just get arrested.
At some point an investigator figures out that you're the only person that's connected to all the deaths, however remotely. As the years go by, you've done lunch together a few times and are on a first name basis. Their efforts are fruitless, and they can't prove anything. But now you have an FBI surveillance van permanently parked outside your home, and that investigator keeps coming around.
Anyone can talk to plants,it's getting them to talk back that's tricky
just eat some of their cousins (i know nothing about biology) then look at them for long enough and I'm sure you'll hear something
view more: next ›