Pooping is one of life's simple pleasures.
this post was submitted on 13 Aug 2024
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So if you could aerosolize your poop, would you? Hmm. I think I'd accept only if I could toggle it on and off.
I have IBS. 100x more farts would basically turn me into a leaf blower, but the idea of not needing to poop again would be heaven.
Fuck no, I love pooping. What do you think allows me to comment now?
You can tell it was a kid because he said "then normal". Kids are fucking stupid.
So you fart 100 times and then fart the normal amount
Is it that I would just fart 100 times when I wake up and then fart normal the rest of the day? If I knew when the 100 farts were coming or if I could plan them out to happen at once, then I might take that deal. I poop a lot at times. Mainly the morning.
Maybe instead of pooping the poop juat transforms into 100 farts when it reaches the end of your digestive tract. So you go to the toilet and instead of dumping a log you just fart for 5 minutes straight.
That would be dope. I'd take that deal.
Same. No more wiping my ass
Collaborate.
Sounds like what my almost 30 yo friends would say before an exceedingly serious conversation
So basically we need to figure out the functional shit:fart value so we can convert any number.
I’m literally sitting here in my car, afraid to turn on the Uber app because I’ve been farting constantly all day and unable to poop.
Jesus christ
The rhyme goes:
Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to shit
But only farted
Oof good luck, constipation is no joke. I've been suffering because of it for years.
It’s only been today. My gut is telling me it’ll be fine by end of day.
Went to the store and just grabbed stuff off the hot bar by intuition. A big meatball, some steamed broccoli and bell peppers, roasted carrots and potatoes. All the gas stopped when I ate that stuff.
Most of my health issues these days last like half a day. I’ve gotten a lot better at trusting my body when it asks for a certain food.
No idea why that set of stuff ended the gas, but it did.
Are you using benefiber or something? You may need a docusate sodium gentle laxative too.
the issue with me is that I've used most laxatives and fibre supplements, nothing seems to work its just getting worse and worse. I've had a colonoscopy, and gastroscopy but nothing came out of it.
You are not immune to the chemical or biological effects of laxatives and fiber. As a test of your diet, please name 5 vegetables with high fiber content.
If you are legitimately doing all that you can, you should be eating a high fiber diet. So this test should be easy. I'm trying to help you, because I know someone who had the same issue. It's mostly diet.
Lentils(all types), beans, avocado, and broccoli. I eat a combination of theses a day with a bit of protein on the side(fish, chicken and red meat).
Makes sense. If I had that issue, I'd try going vegetarian for a meal or two. Like eat a ton of high fiber legumes instead of meat. Oatmeal for breakfast (add chocolate), something with chickpeas for lunch, some meat etc. for dinner.
hmmm, nah
signed - a lactose intolerant person who likes to have some dairy sometimes
Thanks for your experiment
Isn't plant milk everywhere now?
Plant milk doesn't normally have the same level of fullness (in technical terms, it doesn't have such a pronounced body), and also introduces alternate taste, so it's not good for everything, unfortunately.
Some of the oat milk does have a more pronounced body in my experience, but such oat milk normally has intense oatmeal taste. Coconut milk is on the other extreme, it is commonly very empty, but also introduces little taste of its own.
it's not the same :(
whenever i drink milk it's always full fat milk, it's the milkiest. No plant milk can compare with the fullness of its taste
Cheese though.
There is also plant cheese.
Yeah if you’re cooking for yourself. But most restaurants aren’t using vegan cheese yet.
Aren't lactase pills everywhere and really cheap?
i usually avoid dairy but sometimes i just have the craving to have a cheesy pizza, or a big cappuciono, i have yet to remember to buy those whenever that happens, i rarely go over board to start having stomach cramps so usually i just feel weak and fart a lot for the rest of the day
I have a friend who is obsessed with cheese and is highly lactose intolerant. He eats lactase pills like tic tacs and has about three packs on him at all times.
They're not fully effective for those of us who like really really intolerant of that delicious, forbidden lactose.
They're not very effective and I'm not even very intolerant.
Well it's people like you that make lactose intolerance a constant problem you can't put up with it you have to say no I will not tolerate it the more we let it get by the more it's going to push back against us this is how we got in the mess in the first place
Jk obv
Yes, but they're not heat stable, so you have to specifically remember to bring some with you and can't just leave them in a hot car. They also don't work with everything. Something like pizza, where the lactose is trapped inside the cheese, still causes problems even with lactase pills.
I’m also lactase pill intolerant
Whitepeoplemastodon
Hey I have a version of this. Instead of pooping I can’t burp so I bust ass 10x more than the average person.
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