Tim Burton, is that you?
this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2024
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Terrible Estate Agent Photos
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Terrible photos listed by estate agents/realtors that are so bad they’re funny.
Posting guidelines.
Posts in this community must be of property (inside or out) listed for sale which contains a terrible element. “Terrible” can refer to:
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the photo itself (finger over the lens, too far away, people in the shot, bad Photoshop, etc.)
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the property (weird layout, questionable plumbing, unsound structure, etc.)
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the interior (carpeted bathrooms, awful taste interiors, weird mannequins/taxidermies/art, inflatable pools indoors, etc.)
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the actual listing itself including unusual descriptions and unrealistic pricing. However, this isn’t a community to discuss the housing market in general. This is a comedic community - let’s keep it light.
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Photos can be sourced from anywhere and be any age, but please check they haven’t already been posted.
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Censor any names/contact details of private individuals.
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Mark the post NSFW if it includes nudity or sensitive content
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The color schemes, lack of natural light, terrible wall textures, and dated patterns are what kill this for me. The weird slanted perspective furniture actually elevates it, if anything.
I love the idea behind it, just the execution is lacking.
What are those exfrydijg out? Almost looks like microphones.
I expect them to be tiny lights to bring that alien mushroom forest aesthetic.
I think they're LEDs on stiff, bent wires
Ah, I guess that makes more sense
Thanks, I hate it.
Looks like the ceilings follow the roof lines instead of being flat so they just made the furniture follow those lines
Is this a situation where they were planning a remodel, discussed their inability to cut straight lines, said fuck it and doubled down?
Its a Pre-React style build.
Its alllll angular
I'm torn between "this is terrible" and "this is somewhat good". I've seen much worse that's for sure.
Looney-Tunes lookin' furniture.
The last two pics (master bedroom?) and the kitchen kinda give me anxiety with all the slanted furniture but the rest looks good to me
I know this post's title as the title of an old science fiction short story I read as a kid 35 years ago (it was already old! you be quiet) about a guy who builds his house as an unfolded tesseract net of cubes, but then there is an earthquake and the house folds itself along the fourth dimension and it becomes an actual hypercube, with the inhabitants lost and confused inside.
But I wonder now if that story's title was already a reference to something else? Or do other people know that story?
It was a reference to the mathematical Orb, or at least a cube version of it.
https://www.mathsisfun.com/geometry/circle-theorems.html
This can be used to make basically any complex data structures and store physical objects inside.
I read and enjoyed all of those theorems.
Math IS fun!!
I am referencing that story and it's Wikipedia page says:
"'—And He Built a Crooked House—'"[a] is a science fiction short story by American writer Robert A. Heinlein, first published in Astounding Science Fiction in February 1941.[1] It was reprinted in the anthology Fantasia Mathematica (Clifton Fadiman, ed.) in 1958, and in the Heinlein collections The Unpleasant Profession of Jonathan Hoag in 1959 and The Best of Robert Heinlein in 1973. The story is about a mathematically inclined architect named Quintus Teal who has what he thinks is a brilliant idea to save on real estate costs by building a house shaped like the unfolded net of a tesseract. The title is paraphrased from the nursery rhyme "There Was a Crooked Man".
Wait, I think I remember this story! Thank you for the memory and now to see if I can find it again!
In case you haven’t come back to the post, the story is by Robert Heinlein with the (almost) same title as the post.
Oh, it's Heinlein, yeah, I guess maybe a few other people have read it...
AI generated?
Nope, just Lithuania
There's a link to the actual listing in this thread.
And they all lived together in a little crooked house.
I don't know that one.
It's from a nursery rhyme. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/There_Was_a_Crooked_Man
There was a crooked man, and he walked a crooked mile,
He found a crooked sixpence against a crooked stile;
He bought a crooked cat which caught a crooked mouse,
And they all lived together in a little crooked house.
The Eastern Europe in this is overwhelming
It's a more 90's aesthetic where materials were available but not the finances to hire someone to do it well, so people did stuff like wallpaper by themselves instead with varying degrees of success.
People still do that, though maybe less. Men in the family are electricians, masons, plumbers, all at the same time, and with varying degrees of success.
Yes, but you can now afford better tools and materials, online tutorials and tool rentals exist, which can improve your odds a lot with a little preparation.
Edit: I live in an apartment where a construction worker used to live. It's full of dumb kludges and half jobs, or as slavs would call it, "khaltura".
No matter how good your tools and materials, a skilled enough amateur can fuck it up. You can't account for taste either. Furniture shapes aside, those bed covers and the couch are also not something I'd have in my house.
The only outrageous thing i am seeing is the material and colour choice in the bedroom
This is the finest house in Whoville.
Mažeikiai is where the oil refinery is situated in. Maybe it's prolonged exposure to petrochemicals.