this post was submitted on 26 Jul 2024
193 points (97.1% liked)

Asklemmy

43287 readers
704 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

I ain't trying to scare you, but if you live a statistically average life you're about to hit a downward trend in your mood which will last a couple of decades. By the time you're thirty you'll likely have a boss, a spouse and kids, all of whose needs will have to come before yours. Things start to improve again at age 47 when the kids have moved out and you're at the top of your career.

Maintain your friendships. It's so easy to make them a low priority, but having good friends and being a good friend to them is the way to make it through.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

The starting gun has already fired. Don't be idle and wait for life to come to you, you need to go get it!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Meet with a trusted financial advisor and plan your retirement ASAP

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

Control your sex drive or it will be used to control you, and invariably very much against your own best interests.

I got lucky, and found my own partner quite early on (28 years together, now). But I did not stop observing other couples around me, and those men who failed to adequately control their own sex drive were the ones who almost always were taken advantage of and manipulated against their own best interests.

Ironically, RP (and to an extent, BP) information is a great base to understand how you can and will be manipulated, with MGTOW a good framework to insulate yourself against manipulation. Just understand that blaming others is a toxic and counterproductive path, seek to improve yourself to make RP/BP truths work with you and your best interests, and not against you.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Recommending Men Going Their Own Way doesn't bode well in regards to your opinion, so... OP, please disregard.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Recommending Men Going Their Own Way doesn't bode well in regards to your opinion

So working on yourself and improving yourself, building self-respect, setting personal standards that you refuse to compromise on, and focusing on intrinsic motivation is somehow “not boding well”?

What a weird way of punching down.

And for decades now, women have been screaming at men to “leave me alone”, for men to not bother them or approach them or hit on them or engage with them in any way unless engaged with first… yet you have issues with men who do exactly that? You have problems with men whose entire philosophy is to ignore women in exactly the ways that women have been demanding?

Again, what a strangely hypocritical criticism.

The entire point of MGTOW is to give men a path out of “incel-dom”, to show them that there is an alternative path to fulfilment and peace and effective happiness that is entirely self-achievable because it does not hang on the sharp hooks of female approval. That any man can fully divest themselves of this cycle of bigotry and external blame and the bigoted societal expectations of men to focus on what truly matters - themselves.

And in our society where ¾ of all suicide victims are men, we desperately need more men to focus on themselves, first.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So working on yourself and improving yourself, building self-respect, setting personal standards that you refuse to compromise on, and focusing on intrinsic motivation is somehow “not boding well”?

That is not what MGTOW means in reality, and you know it. Stop playing coy.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

That is not what MGTOW means in reality, and you know it. Stop playing coy.

Ah, ignorance. It exists both as an innocent lack of information as well as an intentional rejection of facts. Yes, your cultivated ignorance is on full display.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What do RP and BP mean here?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Redpill and Blackpill, I'm assuming.

Incel-speak.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Redpill and Blackpill, I'm assuming.

Incel-speak.

Interesting how the first thing you reach for is the ad hominem of tying anything RP/BP to being “incel-speak”, in an attempt to silence any discussion in favour of the ideological narrative.

Yes, there are men in those communities who are despondent of ever having any “success” as society has defined it. That they face massive systemic barriers to success that they cannot affect, and extreme social punishments for failing to achieve that externally-imposed definition of “success”.

Throwing blame onto those who impose the rules is an understandable response by these men. An Immature, counterproductive, and inappropriate response, yes. But considering so many men have built their entire identity around societal lies and behaviours that were explicitly engineered to harm their chances of “success”, it is hardly a surprising response.

That’s why MGTOW exists - to show them that there is a path to life fulfilment and even happiness that does not hang from the sharp hooks of female (and societal!) approval. That there is a way to live that does not involve external blame and self-defeating hatred.

But most any RP/BP forum I have ever stuck my nose into has also had a fair amount of direct links to actual scientific research and/or real-world evidence which supports the female nature and behaviour that they have been experiencing and observing themselves. It doesn’t mean that they had any legitimacy in complaining or being upset about it, only that it wasn’t all in their head - it’s an actual IRL thing.

In other words, RP/BP is the “detox” from the societal brainwashing and psy-ops manipulation that most men have been subjected to all their lives, allowing them to truly understand why women do and act in the way that they do. MGTOW is the recovery that refocuses their attitude to intrinsic motivation and happiness, allowing them to live freely without any need for women.

And of course, a large proportion of women find that last sentence deeply frightening. A man who don’t need no woman? Who can live entirely on his own, happy and content? Heresy! It must be suppressed with all the social/verbal violence that can be brought to bear!

Hence, the derogatory term “incel”. It exists for no other reason than to shame men into compliance, as a thought-terminating cliché.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

the ad hominem of tying anything RP/BP to being “incel-speak”, in an attempt to silence any discussion in favour of the ideological narrative.

We don't need to "discuss" misogynistic postulates, the same way we don't need to "discuss" if black people have souls. The request for "discussion" beliefs your position and reveals you're beyond any possible redemption and that conversation is pointless.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

What do all these abbreviations mean?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago
  • If you need medical care, get fucking medical care. Seriously. It will get worse if you ignore it, whatever "it" happens to be.
  • Following the above, have at least one trusted advocate (partner, family member, friend, doesn't matter) who can explain any chronic issues, typical medications, etc., and who can and will advocate on your behalf with medical professionals in e.g., a hospital setting as and when necessary.
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Compatibility is probably the most important quality to look for in a romantic partner.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm 50 and a woman, but my advice for the hell of it is be nice to your knees and back, and don't waste your time on relationships that suck.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Dead on, and applicable to nearly everyone.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

I'm 2 months from 36 so I want to weigh in, behind every great man, is a good partner. Don't waste your youth chasing flings and living it up, find your person, someone who will help you build yourself in a better person every step of the way. Not controlling but supportive, and do the same for them.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Enjoy your health and exercise. I thought I was in pain in the 20s and 30s but then it's worse in your 40s. I wish I ate better and exercise more.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

When you move things, lift correctly (safety videos are online). I’m only 35, but because of all the moving I did in my 20s, without thought of safety, I have frequent lower back pain and it doesn’t take much to hurt it.

[–] [email protected] -5 points 1 month ago

Start listening to Dr Michael Greger. You'll thank yourself at 40.

When making your worldviews, difficult as it might be, consider listening to the news from original source. Say, for China related stories, look up Chinese publications, translate them to a couple of other languages you know. Ask yourself what each narrator or writer wants you to think and do after listening to their side of the story. This habit will make traveling a better experience in many ways.

Write a journal everyday. Write a meal and snack journal everyday and include any alcohol, drug as well in it. Review them every now and then. Never miss any vaccine. The journals will come in handy for everything from planning weight loss, effectiveness of any diet or exercise, sicknesses, mental health issues, to helping your doctors help you better. Course correction will get simpler and ever easier.

If you ever think of kids, do consider stopping with one. This boiling, frying planet we have made ourselves need not be inflicted on any more than one little one of yours.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

appreciate what you have now. take your time, you have tmie right now, don't worry about finding your dream situation in live be it work, love, living, whatever just experience life. you're young, you hopefully have some money, so experience it if you can. If you're going to drink, do it now cause when you hit my age hangovers last 2 days and after one or two beers you're pissing up a storm.

Don't complain about a week taking forever and you hope the weekend comes soon because once you hit your 40s all that "time" snowballs together and you'll be begging the days to go by slower. Things start speeding up and people start leaving you and you have no choice but to go along for the ride and hope for the best. You're still in your 20s, cherish the time you have. hold onto it. apprecaite it. Take as many photos as you can, take as many videos as you can and save them. Friends and lovers will come and go but those memories from your 20s will last forever. make it easy to remember them.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Be prepared for age-related farsightedness! No changes if my aging body irritated me as much so far. I think mainly because of the abruptness of how that set in. It felt like an almost instant change, people showing me things on their phone and I couldn't read it anymore. Taking pictures of fineprint to zoom in etc.

load more comments
view more: next ›