Straight from the source: https://www.bullshitgenerator.com/
this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2025
1 points (100.0% liked)
Low Effort Memes
338 readers
15 users here now
Some communities have standards. We do not.
Have fun posting!
Rules:
- Shitposting is mandatory.
- Tryhard memes are fine if you must.
- Don't kill the vibe.
founded 4 months ago
MODERATORS
our yearly reviews are packed with this bollocks.
And it's tied to our bonuses
You guys get encouraging emails?
Those items are all real things, real things that are either lies or misused.
Empower employees - Will you really cut the crap and let employees manage themselves and their solutions? LOL, no.
Leverage core competencies - Always a solid plan to play to your strengths, but instead the company turns "core competencies" into competencies the wish they had.
Scalable solutions - From an IT perspective, this can get ludicrous. At my last gig we were heavy Amazon users. It's scalable! Guys, we didn't need scale. Our customer base was extremely limited, really niche market, and we already had 94% of it on lock down. There was zero chance of explosive growth.
"Can you finance this and that certification ? I need it to implement this and that properly"
"No, we don't have the budget for it"
When I worked for a drug company one of my favorite past times was noting misuses of the word 'innovation' in meetings.
I'd write the correct word instead, so I'd end up with a list like: good, product, good, feature, good, good, selling point, progress, good, plan, good, good, good.
The innovation of buying all your drug patents from publicly funded research labs and then charging 1000x the cost of manufacturing the drug when it's critical for people to continue living.
Fortunately the patent for the solution has long since expired.
I’m pretty sure I’ve gotten this exact email before
The employees just gotta get that sense of pride and accomplishment