this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2024
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[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Introducing..... drumrolls!

Apple sounding sticks! Dstix! Not only are they incredibly sexy for sounding, with their smooth specially designed surfaces for his pleasure, but they boost db to new leves with its vibration to music features. Dstix not only play music with their IEM adapters but now they also come... pardon the pun... with their very own camera! For those who must pray east or those who are really outdoorsy they come with nano gyro enabled GPS and you know, that needle thing that always points north. Dstix are not just your grandpa's stainless feel good 🍡 play toys anymore! Search for and scoop out ear wax! Unclog stuffy noses! Search and report pullips and other intestinal illnesses. Ofcourse it can detect enlarged prostate, record your pee schedule and chemical composition via the P-hol technology built in. Dstix also come with mood light and a bright torch to find your keys or remove your contacts! And Best of all, they are Bluetooth, they can record 49hours of sound and 4k video, they have an air mouse and air keyboard features and you can receive calls directly to your Dstix! Stereo if you're using two. All the adapters, including the B-dapter with retaining feature and safety flange are all included! All you will need is a USB c cable and adapter!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

The worst part is that these could be the only option. Since airpods are designed to go bad after a few years Apple will interpret all of the replacements as "very successful sales"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

How about just better sound instead? You know, what headphones are actually for.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Airpods are more about convenience than sound quality. Not sure how cameras factor in there though.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And this is why the Humane Pin was always a dumb idea. Apple, Google, Samsung, etc just needed to license some LL and diffusion models, then slap camera on all the headphones they make. Boom - instant humane like experience that’s faster, lighter, better looking, has better battery, etc etc.

No futuristic projector UI, but that thing was pretty busted anyway.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

The big problem with the humane pin was that it was trying to do processing on the teeny tiny device and that used all it's battery up in 15 mins generated 300 MW of heat.

Why not just use the phone in your pocket that's actually designed for this kind of data processing?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

That's a lotta heat

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (2 children)

As I recall, the original goal was to build a product that allowed you to leave the phone behind so you could be more present in the world.

Problem is, processing and battery power clearly isn’t there yet, and it would require a separate sim for that.

A product that leveraged the phone would’ve been a better V1. It’s kind of the obvious conclusion everyone comes to when they play with this thing in the wild.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I fundamentally take issue with the idea that I need to be saved from my phone.

The primary reasons I use my phone are for communication and taking pictures. Well it was terrible at both of those things.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

This is the most tech bro thing ever.

"Lets innovate ourselves out of a problem that innovation created"

Imagine trying to invent a new class tech instead of just putting your phone down.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Just to improve the spy ecosystem. Thanks

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (3 children)

100% says it’s for gesture tracking and fully local

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I suppose they really wanna use all that R&D that they did on gesture tracking with the vision somewhere.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Yep, imagine skipping tracks with a specific gesture instead on fondling the white nub poking out of your ear

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The source code is closed so you cannot check Apple allegations only trust them and I don't trust a company who puts a advertising ID on its phones

[–] [email protected] -2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Do you trust Google? They do a LOT more than add a highly anonymous advertising ID you can reset at at will.

Marketing departments around the world collectively shat their pants when Apple did that change, it made tons of user tracking instantly completely useless.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Yeah well, they wouldn't buy earphones with fucking cameras on them from Google either, now would they?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Only because everyone's on edge, give it a few years and they'll need "anonymised" data collection to "help improve their service"

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 months ago

Have they done it with FaceID yet?

It can detect accurate facial expressions, it’d be advertising gold to see what faces people pull when watching ads, even see if they’re looking at the phone

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Only because everyone’s on edge,

Wrong, everyone's on chrome

I'll see myself out, no need to shoot

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Edge is what you use to download a browser.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Ear pics now easier than ever

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Let's take low power a tech gadget that gets good battery life and make it no longer have good battery life. What a great idea.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago

They haven't even thought of adding fans for the hot days. Is anyone even thinking of users at Apple?

[–] [email protected] 43 points 2 months ago (1 children)

First there were glassholes. Now we'll have earworms?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You mean butt plugs with cameras pointing onwards into it?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

I would buy that

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