this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2024
124 points (86.5% liked)

Asklemmy

43714 readers
1347 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy πŸ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 

I just don't get it... Why is that important, especially for kids now, that feel like they need to do a YouTube video asking for a date or doing some meme stuff. Some teens even hire the hottest celebrity or ask them to appear in their prom? This is so bizarre for me, all that just for a frivolous night.

In my country prom was a thing but nowhere near as theatrical, I didn't went to either my prom trip or the party. Also skipped half of my middle school trips.

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

I don't know, why do Japanese schools have culture festivals? Is it not enough to say that some countries have different cultural norms and traditions?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

There's also a lot of variance within the US. In some towns prom is huge. In my home town it wasn't as much. Many students elected not to go at all.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago

I'm just going to throw out that if your understanding of US prom is based off of movies and videos people make to try and get views, that doesn't match reality. For mine, it was fun to dress up and dance, but I knew plenty of people who didn't go, and plenty who went without dates. And there was no prom queen or king or anything.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 4 months ago

That's like asking why people celebrate holidays.

That's all it is. It's a holiday that's just for teens.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 4 months ago (3 children)

The USA is what we call the Great American Melting Pot. A bunch of cultures stripped of their cultural practices as much as possible.

It means we have very little in the way of innate cultural practices. Which is why we cling to things like sports, fast food, pop music, (much of which isn't ours, but anyway), military celebrations; because we're desperately trying to find ceremonial right of passage/cultural identity. We are a blank slate.

We don't have a quince, we don't have a bat mitzvah, we have prom. It's stupid, but it's ours.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I disagree we have everything that everyone has because we have everyone living here it's just celebrated by whoever wants to celebrate what. Stop making it sound like a couple hundred year old country doesn't have ceremonies we cherish.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Tbf that’s a better explanation than any other I’ve heard.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Tbf, being a melting pot also means all those cultures impact and influence "ours." Plenty of Americans have bat mitzvahs, for instance, of course they'd be particularly the ones that are Jewish, but plenty of Americans also observe Ramadan. We have a lack of cohesive culture because we're not just one cohesive "people," yet we all are under the banner of "American."

Our country is a melting pot, and so "our culture" is too, made up of pieces immigrants have brought with them from everywhere in the world. I think it's pretty cool, personally.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Or to put it concisely: "even the fascists eat kebabs"

[–] [email protected] -1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Yes yes I'm a fascist because I was born in a place you don't like and appreciate the cultures others have decided to share with us. Does it get tiring, being a contrarian just for the sake of it?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Hey, I was agreeing with you. If even the far-right consume the foods of the very cultures they rally against, then those cultures have already assimilated into the public's unconscious

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Ah I misunderstood, my mistake.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

"God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables, slaves with white collars, advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of the history man, no purpose or place, we have no Great war, no Great depression, our great war is a spiritual war, our great depression is our lives, we've been all raised by television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars, but we won't and we're slowly learning that fact. and we're very very pissed off."

-Tyler Durden

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

You have fun with all that! I otoh am going to eat shwarma, then hit the mexican ice cream truck for dessert. Maybe watch some anime after that with my friend from Prague.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Have you seen all those high school movies? The US is obsessed with high school. I guess prom is just part of that.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

At least you don't expect them to undergo two training arcs, beat a kaiju in single combat and h*β€Žld h*nds with their crush to graduate.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Thanks to COVID, we didn't get to have a prom. I don't feel like I missed out on anything.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You think prom is weird. Do an image search for Texas homecoming mums.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

As a Texan, I can absolutely attest to this

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

It of course varries from one school or area to another, and from different age groups.

I ended up going to 4 proms, my own junior and senior proms, the senior prom my junior year because a girl asked me, and then I ended up dating a girl at another high school after I graduated and ended up going to her senior prom (in case anyone's getting skeeved at that, we were both 18 at the time we started dating, just a few months difference between us, I just barely made the cutoff to be part of the previous grade and she just missed it)

That last prom was the only one where I was actually dating my date, the other 3 we just went as friends, although I did have a pretty big crush on the girl I took to both of my own proms but could never quite work up the nerve to ask her out.

There were never any elaborate promposals or anything, that was just starting around that time and hadn't quite caught on yet, my sister a couple years behind me did it, nothing too elaborate I think she gave her friend a cake and balloons.

The promposal thing is mostly just that it's silly and fun, and nowadays I guess it probably makes for a funny tiktok.

Prom was not a particularly big deal in my area, if I had to attach any particular significance to it, it's just that it's kind of your first "adult" formal event that you're attending for your own sake, not because you're going to a cousins wedding, not something like your first communion or bar mitzvah or whatever when you're still very much a kid. You get to dress up, you get a fancy meal, you rent a limo, maybe you go to a cool post-prom party and you're going to be out till the wee hours of the morning mostly left to your own devices. It's fun for its own sake, and the kind of event most teens don't really get to experience very often.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

In Germany we have this stupid tradition with MaibΓ€ume (Maypole) were young people carry a tree around and place it in front of the house of their beloved ones. The bigger the tree the better.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Can someone explain me [ X country] obsession with [ X celebration] and similar [location] rituals? Why do different cultures have their respective rituals? Why do some people prioritize certain values and act on them? Is having more reasons to celebrate life a bad or good thing?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

Nah, I think it's more; "as someone who consumes 90% of culture X, and gets 90% of the X references, what is the significance of this 10% X reference which has no analog in my native culture?"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

based and human nature-pilled

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

Proms were around for ~50 years before we started seeing "promposals", where guys would ask girls out with 3 minute-long choreographed dances in the middle of the quad for the whole school to see & record for social media. I'm not saying it's stupid to put effort into asking someone, it can definitely be cute, but it can also be ultra cringe if you take it too far

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I think it's important to remember that the USA isn't a single culture. Things vary dramatically even within a single state to say nothing of differences between states.

In some areas prom is very important. In others, not so much.

Only one of my three kids went to prom (Eastern PA).

Prom in my high school was a relatively big deal. You rented a tux or bought a dress. Some people would rent a limo. The prom was held in some kind of banquet hall with a fairly fancy meal. There'd be a DJ and dancing.

My wife was one year behind me in high school, and we attended FOUR proms (my junior prom, then the next year her junior prom and my senior prom, then the next year I came back for her senior prom).

I think for most people it's just an opportunity to get dressed up, have a good meal, and dance. If you're already dating someone, it obviously has more significance, but I had plenty of friends who just took another friend as a date for the prom and others who didn't go with anyone. However, there was a lot of pressure to be a "couple", even if you weren't actually romantically involved with your "date".

Typically the parents take pictures of the kids in their dresses and tuxedos. From the parents' point of view, it's a moment to sort of take note of how your kids are maturing and think about what the future holds for them. Lots of thinking about how old you are ;-)

Often there's an after party that goes on late into the morning, and for many kids the after party is more important than the prom.

I think social media has had an effect on what prom is, but it also has the effect of distorting what it is to people who only experience it remotely. When you're seeing the crazy YouTube videos and Instagram posts, you're not seeing what prom is. You're seeing a snapshot of what those particular proms are.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Thank you, that was a really good explanation!

[–] [email protected] -3 points 4 months ago

The education system is primarily promoting degeneracy. Prom was a good way to start it.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago

Prom is part of the culture and teenage experience here. Some people are more into it than others. It's ok not to totally understand or like it. I'm sure there are things that we don't understand about other places too.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago

You're only seeing the most outrageous edge cases. It's a weird kind of survivorship bias.

Prom was kinda like graduation to me. It's a school event, I mostly went because it was important to someone else, and it's a very common and relatable event in American life. All in, it was a waste of 50 bucks and a few good hours of gaming/relaxing with my GF.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

For a lot of high school seniors, prom is the last big event before graduation. It's an event where you can hang out with a lot of your classmates away from school and parents and such. There aren't too many opportunities to just hang out for a lot of teens, what with the homework and extra curricular activities and such occupying a lot of their free time. That being said, it's not uncommon for people to skip the prom and some schools make it a bigger deal than others.

load more comments
view more: next β€Ί