this post was submitted on 19 Jun 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 42 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Read your bibles people: GOD IS THE VILLAIN

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[–] [email protected] 76 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Sounds like God wasn't capable enough to stay competitive in today's spiritual market.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago

Hail Santa!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Good thing god is all forgiving I hear.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

God is the one that should be begging our forgiveness.

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[–] [email protected] 82 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Hol'upaminnitt. Lucy stops the panic attack and delivers the tasties, and they're still the baddie? Anon is one ungrateful gumby.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago

Hail Satin!

[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 months ago

Hail Satan!

[–] [email protected] 25 points 5 months ago

Just rolling into the next panic attack, huh?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago

Plot twist: the calm was inside of you all along.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 months ago

Praise Satan!

[–] [email protected] 38 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 42 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Christianity would have been so much cooler if the Gnostics won the cult war

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 5 months ago

Anon tells on themselves about their true beliefs.

[–] [email protected] 136 points 5 months ago (6 children)

Satan is actually the good one; God just talked a bunch of shit and lied about how cool he was and how bad Satan was to pick up ~~chicks~~ worshippers.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (3 children)

Technically, Satan is a creation of God. Otherwise christianism would be polytheistic. So even if you consider Satan as the good guy, God is still responsible for both good and evil.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

In the story of the Tree of Knowledge, the serpent old the truth while god lied.

Between the two of them, only God kills in the bible, and boy he does it a LOT

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Christianity is has almost always been so dangerously close to polytheism that it’s laughable it isn’t considered to be.

It’s just bureaucracy at this point, I guess it’s not polytheism if you lower everyone to “middle manager god”

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Story of Job is basically

Satan: bet that guy wouldn't worship you anymore if you ruined his life

God: Totally would, watch me kill his whole family

They are both on team asshole

[–] [email protected] 63 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Satan welcomes all people, from all walks of life, with open arms. God is a bigot who only accepts certain people, if they’re “good enough”. It’s also my understanding that God killed over 2-million people, while satan only killed 10.

Tell me how God loves me unconditionally again?

[–] [email protected] -5 points 5 months ago (2 children)

If God only accepts certain people, then why did He die for everybody?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

The belief in a hell or in a Limbo kind of prove that paradise is not for everyone. Depends which dogmas you grew up with, at this point.
About God being sacrificed to himself, it was mainly a way to stop an old tradition of sacrificing goats every year in order to atone for sins. Now people can just say that the Christ already died for that, so they don't have to act like barbarians and kill poor animals. Which is great, to be fair.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 5 months ago (9 children)

The offer is for everyone, people choose whether or not to take Him up on it

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Christ alive this is a loaded ask.

The New Testament was a new promise that was to change god from his old vengeful ways to his new ways.

We don’t do X anymore. We’re now gonna do Y.

Now, why did “he” die for everybody? He didn’t. Jesus was crucified, theoretically (as there is no actual proof of the event, just people talking about it later and that being deemed “good enough”), for treason.

The story is “this time god sacrificed his child for you” as a “ok we’re even now let’s stop and now I’m a good guy” PR campaign.

None of it is real and the points are made up.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (4 children)

And also God apparently has so much power he could fix everything in this world with little effort. But no, he specifically creates it. God created all there is, including all the bad stuff. Murderers? Rapists? Slave owners? ...? Yep. But, "Do not question God's intentions. He works in mysterious ways."

[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 months ago (1 children)

And botflies. Don't forget botflies.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 5 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Pretty sure divinity isn't a killstreak.

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Satan has death metal and titties. What's not to like?

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