this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2023
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

The restaurant’s there, anon didn’t find it because anon didn’t actually walk around for several hours+ trying to find it. Everyone knows anons are idiots.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

It was just some dudes apartment

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Sir, this is a Wendy's.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Anon frightened off a front for chinese international operations. He looked so weird they thought it's an undercover agent.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

> be me, chinese triad

> no fear

> hanging with fellow triad bros at our safe house

> suddenly, a weird unkempt man stumbles in at 1 am

> goes straight up to our most feared boss

> keeps repeating the word 'food' while staring at him without blinking for 5 minutes

> his eyes are as red as blood

> must be some kind of demon

> we give him food to prevent the wrath of the heavens

> he eats it, says something about explosions and stars

> leaves

> we're all sweating, realizing that if we hadn't given him food, he would have blown us up before going back to the stars

> everyone in that room fled the country, hoping never to see the demon again

> be me, chinese triad

> one fear

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

this was funny. I like you.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Nah, there’s a Chinese place about 5 minutes from my house that is either some rich guy’s shitty project, or more likely, a money laundering front.

Place is never ordered from, only ever has the same 3 cars in the lot, and has been open for about 15 years. It survived COVID when half the restaurants in my city had to close up shop.

I went in once about 10 years ago, and the food was just god awful. No flavor and it looked like week old microwaved Chinese. The whole place was filthy and I was amazed it hadn’t been shut down.

No way that OP stumbled into a front and actually enjoyed the food, even if they were as high as the space station.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

I agree with your conclusion, you usually don't run the front for real to fly under the radar better. Maybe I thought about underground restaurants I've seen a couple of times targeting plentiful chinese tourists? I've been in a couple of these. Ground level, no signs, mute chinese personal, hierogliphs on the menu and just a word of a month from locals that you can fill your stomack for pennies there. Maybe they stumbled upon one such place and can't recall where it was.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Probably didn't have a sign outside so it just looks like a vacant storefront during the day. Noodle place I went to is like that, plus another diner I visited.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Anon ate ramen noodles in their local trash can with some opossums

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Like those magical shops in Ankh-Morpork 🪄

[–] [email protected] -2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

This reminds me of that story where a couple came across a small restaurant with a bunch of old, vintage cars parked and when they went in to eat they had the best tasting meal of their lives. Turns out the succulent meat was human.

I don't know if they made it out.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

I don't know if they made it out.

The restaurant’s diners become the future meals for subsequent diners.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

OP broke into a Chinese immigrants families house and got free food.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 11 months ago

Reminds me of the Little Britain skit when Ting Tong opened a Thai restaurant in Mr Dudley's apartment (couldn't find it on YouTube, so I'll link to TikTok, mea culpa):

https://www.tiktok.com/@british_comedytv/video/7207199023474691334

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

OP found a Panda Express and imagined them being slightly classier

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Dude found a money laundering front that bailed because they thought they were a cop.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

OP found a triad money laundering establishment.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

One family member has a real gift in the kitchen but just can’t convince the rest to go legit and make the restaurant honest.