396
Kristi Noem Saves Face by Claiming Dog She Shot Was Infected with Woke Mind Virus
(thehardtimes.net)
It feels like cheating when a chunk of it is real
this post was submitted on 30 Apr 2024
396 points (99.0% liked)
The Onion
4504 readers
694 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
The best lies all have a bit of truth in them and that goes double for satire.
I can't even tell what's parody anymore...
I didn't see this was the onion sub and my first thought wasn't there's no way she said that. It was huh, and her base is letting her get away with it?
“I thought the dog was growling when I heard it go ‘herrrrrr’ near my son, but then I realized it was trying to queer him up by referring to him as a ‘her.’ I knew the only way to protect him at that point was to put a bullet between Fido’s woke eyes before he turned my children into transvestite commie Jewish Palestine sympathizers.
..you cant? reeeally?
It's not all that far removed from shit people say completely without a trace of irony.
I've caught myself thinking it was an Onion article before, only to discover it wasn't. And I've heard these morons refer to someone as both Jewish and Palestinian in the same sentence. And woke and commie. So this isn't that far into unbelievable.
Is she the same Person who said Jewish Space Lazers were starting Forest Fires or is she the one that said Teachers are turning kids Woke and therefore we need to give them Guns?
I think greene was the spacelaser moron.
Yeah, that was Perjury Greene. So named because she straight up committed blatant perjury during the hearing to determine whether she was eligible for reelection.
Lawyer for the people of Georgia: asks straightforward question about the events of January 6th
Perjury Greene: "I don't recall"
Her own lawyer 15-30 minutes later: asks the same question phrased slightly different
Perjury Greene: suddenly recalls everything down to the most minute fictitious detail
Of course, since it's Georgia where the state level judges are almost all corrupt Republicans (but I repeat myself), nothing came of it and she was allowed to run without any repercussions from the perjury 🤬
Well that makes it alright then!
/s