The Onion

4504 readers

694 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

396

Kristi Noem Saves Face by Claiming Dog She Shot Was Infected with Woke Mind Virus (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

11 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 42 points 6 months ago (3 children)

“I thought the dog was growling when I heard it go ‘herrrrrr’ near my son, but then I realized it was trying to queer him up by referring to him as a ‘her.’ I knew the only way to protect him at that point was to put a bullet between Fido’s woke eyes before he turned my children into transvestite commie Jewish Palestine sympathizers.

..you cant? reeeally?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

It's not all that far removed from shit people say completely without a trace of irony.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago

I've caught myself thinking it was an Onion article before, only to discover it wasn't. And I've heard these morons refer to someone as both Jewish and Palestinian in the same sentence. And woke and commie. So this isn't that far into unbelievable.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Is she the same Person who said Jewish Space Lazers were starting Forest Fires or is she the one that said Teachers are turning kids Woke and therefore we need to give them Guns?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I think greene was the spacelaser moron.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

Yeah, that was Perjury Greene. So named because she straight up committed blatant perjury during the hearing to determine whether she was eligible for reelection.

Lawyer for the people of Georgia: asks straightforward question about the events of January 6th

Perjury Greene: "I don't recall"

Her own lawyer 15-30 minutes later: asks the same question phrased slightly different

Perjury Greene: suddenly recalls everything down to the most minute fictitious detail

Of course, since it's Georgia where the state level judges are almost all corrupt Republicans (but I repeat myself), nothing came of it and she was allowed to run without any repercussions from the perjury 🤬