this post was submitted on 22 Apr 2024
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Science Memes

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841
Can I lick it? (mander.xyz)
submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I always wanted to play with bromine. It looks so cool.

Why all the coolest things have to be toxic 😞 (broad life wisdom statement)

[–] [email protected] 56 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (4 children)

That's hilarious because me and my brother licked lead fishing weights for fun as a child. It's probably why I'm retarded.

Can someone make one for suitability as dildo material?

Edit: Here it is, chumps

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

Magnificent!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)

How is bromine "probably fine"? It should be in the rectal damage section.

Calcium should probably be in the "Ow, my ass" section.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

There are a bunch wrong. Feel free to go crazy with it.

Edit: NEW VERSION IS UP Yay

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Better, but still a few issues.

Promethium, radium, curium, and Californium are all radioactive enough to cause rectal damage. Conversely, I don't think phosphorus (black or red) or selenium are reactive enough to cause much harm.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Thank you for your contributions to this

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

You're welcome!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

A nobel prize would be given to a lot more of those. Especially those naturally brittle or liquid.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

I guess it's only implied but any liquid is inserted as a solid - e.i. below its melting point. It's assumed anything crumbly has a suitable binding agent.

A few of them are definitely wrong as has been pointed out to me but I'm glad we're all learning about science!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

Gallium would be an interesting suppository.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

awesome contribution

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Can I lick it?

Green - yes, you can!

Yellow, Red, Purple - no, you can’t!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

Purple - I don't think it's possible to do that.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

I think yellow is actually fine - a lick is 3 seconds of contact maximum and you're not sucking on it or ingesting it...

Lithium's the only one you'll ingest decent quantities of and it's just gonna taste fizzy and soapy with no real lasting damage, stuff like lead you won't even ingest and even if you did it'd probably be fine in such low quantities, even mercury is probably ok to lick if you're careful

That said, with the radioactive ones you need to be careful of what isotope and sample size you're licking, so licking a huge ingot of U235 would probably do some lasting damage just by being near it, but licking a small piece of U238 is more than likely fine so long as it's solid and not dust

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

I'd be careful with emitters that are primarily alpha radiation like U238. It's easy to dismiss them because they're fat diabeetus particles that are simple to stop, but the flip side of that is that they are nasty when they're not stopped. They're a big fat thing going really, really fast, and whatever they hit is going to take a lot of damage.

Maybe the saliva on your tongue will stop it? If your tongue is relatively dry, though, you could very easily get tongue cancer.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

laughs in compound

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