Teleport from children’s hospital to children’s hospital casting heal.
DM says no
Fine raise the dead.
this post was submitted on 10 Nov 2023
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Phantasmal Killer, assassin for hire.
Polymorph, make an only fans.
Move Earth, get a job in construction.
Animate Dead, free labor
Magic Missile never misses
Summon monster (fire elemental) free clean power generation
I could go on all day. Having wizard spells would literally make you stupidly rich.
Dude, if I could shape shift for an Onlyfans, I'd give myself a zipper. I'd look sexy and hot, but with a zipper right down my back. i'd ignore all questions about my zipper. I'd use throwaway accounts to drum up drama about the sexy lady zipper. Saying it's an implant, or that I'm an alien. I wouldn't even tell the people I'm filming with what the zipper is for, and if they tried to pull it, it would be stuck, and filming would end then. Then one day I'd be Livestreaming to my Simps and my zipper would get caught on something and unzip. I'd come out as a gnome. Not even a cool gnome, like an annoying keebler elf sort of lawn Ignome. My simps would loose their minds realizing that they've been jerking off to a gnome in a slut suit. Then I'd go offline that day and start a new account with some other crazy antic.
Wish is an easy one, since it can be used to cast most of the other spells talked about here
Clone, immortality without any of the normal downsides (I can choose to die still and don't need souls or any bs like that)
Identify and go pawn shop hunting and the like
Really most divination spells would be solid for stock market manipulation
Enchantment spells for manipulating the corporate ladder, or getting into politics or something (mass suggestion in the really any political nexus, geus for more targeted things, modify memory, etc).
Healing and revivification spells and sell my services to the elite, bring back the dead, speak to loved ones, etc. Clone works well here too, especially since it has age manipulation.
True Polymorph is the easiest if we just wanna accrue wealth quickly
Buy some live feeder mice (a small animal that doesn't involve killing someone's pet) and transform them into jewelry. True Polymorph has none of the restrictions of Fabricate, so we can create fine jewelry without skill. Turn a mouse into a gold ring or necklace, with a large gemstone embedded into it. Sell it at a pawn shop. Repeat, use different pawn shops, and use Dominate Person with Modify Memory afterwards if theres some law about needing an ID. The dominated person can use theirs, and then you remove the interaction from their memories.
Sell fine jewelry made from mice all you want. Use that cash to buy cows or other massive animals, turn them into gold. We don't have to worry about how to pass the gold off though, the goal was to accumulate wealth. Use Fabricate to make the cow-gold into rough coins, build a secret dragon's den.
Of course, if we're willing to be a little less subtle, True Polymorph is also great for doing some light faith healing, restoring blindness due to injury by transforming them into another person that's basically identical, or we could make people look like their ideal selves. Not in the bounds of the question though.
True Polymorph still has a duration. Fabricate needs skill with tools... not necessarily in creating the objects being Fabricated... but it does permanently transform stuff into other stuff.
True Polymorph's duration is "until dispelled" if you concentrate for an hour. (That's hidden in the spell description.)
So what happens if you turn a cow into gold, machine that gold into things, then cast dispel magic?
Beef jewelry?
Welcome to GoodBerry, Home of the GoodBerry. can I take your order?
Mage hand and offer ghost handjobs for $1000 per person per handjob
Doesn’t really sound like it wouldn’t draw attention
Who would want to admit that they used their services?
Me. I would. Sounds dope.
(Hi, yes, it's been 5 months and I felt compelled to write this.)
Fireball
The answer is always fireball.
Foresight and gambling
Nah win too much and you get kicked out and banned. No matter if you cheated to win or not
They can ban me as long as I'm paid
All it takes is one big win on their jackpot machine. Nothing sus about that.
Big win on a slot is a couple hundred grand pre-tax. Not that great, even hitting the major companies until banned from all will get you in the low millions pre-tax
Not lifelong money there
Step 1. Cast foresight
Step 2. Go to Vegas
Step 3. Profit
- Get booted from every casino after making a mild amount of money
FTFY
Lawful Good:
Foresight to convince the smart, powerful people that they're making bad decisions, influence them to make better decisions for the world, only use it for enough personal gain to sustain a decent living.
Neutral Good:
Mass Suggestion Convince the dumb powerful people I'm a divine being and they better do as I say, use this power to force positive change amongst the easiest to control masses. Collection plates at churches now go to me.
Chaotic Good:
Gate, Use teleportation to extort billionaires by witnessing their depravity and threatening them with exposure, also portal tech. become Rick Sanchez. Rob swiss banks for fun and profit.
Lawful Evil:
Meteor Swarm: Hold cities hostage for ransom.
Chaotic Evil:
True Polymorph: I'm going to start turning politicians into lizards. For cash I'll turn random shit into itself but but made out of a different material and auction if off, passing myself off as a great artist of incredible talent.
Edit because I forgot about the money half way through.
I like how as you descend into evil and madness you increasingly discard the "don't draw attention to yourself" part and with chaotic evil the wealth generation aspect is pretty much forgotten. The progression feels right.
Not the richest fastest but probably nice and discreet: electronics repair shop using mending.
You can't mend to fix magic smoke problems. Though it would be awesome to run your finger along a cracked screen to repair it
I think you would be able to
You can fix constructs and magical items with it, you can't put magic back into it though
Why not?
They’re making a joke, riffing off the “you let the magic smoke out” joke used in hardware repair. The “magic smoke” is when the chip fries and needs to be replaced, and mending can only physically repair magic items.