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I feel like I'm the exact opposite of what this article proposed however the entire thing confuses me.

I'm not rich but relatively well off, and, without doubt in the best financial position of my immediate group of friends.

If I happen to be the one that picks up the bill I often have people chasing me to pay me. I actually think that is a problem because they feel obliged to do the right thing, however I'm unmotivated because I don't care about the outcome -- I don't need the money. This is my fault and I feel poorly for it but the reality is that after I've had a nice evening I don't really care. In terms of the debt: honestly I probably wouldn't bother asking.

The very concept of asking someone for 4 bucks seems abhorrent to me. To be clear, I say this personally; I'm not struggling to pay rent/mortgage/utilities/whatever. If you're in a position where those are concerns then please absolutely follow up.

Chasing a $4 debt won't make you rich, ever. Even if you do it all the time. Anyone well off chasing this kind of cash is deluding themselves.

Generally speaking my friends and I operate over a long term fairness principle. "Bob got the last round, I'll get the next"; they won't be even but our assumption is that it'll balance in the long term. That applies to more than just the pub.

I think the answer is simply "people who have more money pay more attention to their finances in general". I mean, people who don't pay attention to how they're spending money tend to not stay rich, even when they have a high paying job. But then again, is there any actual evidence that the premise is true? Or is it just a bias that people take more notice when a rich friend asks to pay them back?

My SO worked for a very rich man, and in some ways he was generous, inviting me along to events for example, or paying a heft year end bonus to his staff, and he spared no expense on his business. I halfway like him. But also he just wouldn't pay very well, and at a dinner for his high end wealthy club members who give him a lot of money for his products, gave a speech complaining bitterly about the downturn in his industry. I was embarrassed for him, I mean inflation is hard on most people and we're mostly all cutting way back, but he seems to have that millionaire narcissism where he is not in touch with the reality of those with less. A few dollars raise and some better behaviour to his staff and he'd likely have kept most of them on, but they move on a lot.

We brought him a cake for his birthday once because we're like that and he barely said thank you.

This isn't any sort of real explanation of anything. It's just someone's opinion. They call her an "expert". She's a certified financial planner with no formal schooling or training. She passed a test and runs a company where she advises people who have suddenly come into a lot of money. That's her only expertise. She has no background in psychology or any information beyond "it rings true" to back up her statements.

The key is to never go out and stay in the basement.

Then you wouldn't have to split that appetizer from TGI fridays with your friend because you never met them.

I'm working poor and always have been. I never mind buying other people drinks or paying for their fares or whatnot, even if they make more money than I do. My philosophy is that I don't make nearly enough money to ever become rich or even well off, so what would it matter that I turn every cent around fifteen times or not? If at the end of the day I'm happy, and at the end of the month I'm not starving, then I'm living.

I'm suffering from enough shit already (chronic depression, adhd, etc) that complicating my life extra by tracking every red cent in order to deny myself and my family the last few pleasures making life worth living is not an option.

Of course, with this kind of attitude it's unlikely I'll ever become rich, even if I find a high-income job, since I care little about "making it grow". For all I know WW3 could break out tomorrow rendering EUR & USD near worthless. Then what does it matter how much you saved up?

As someone whose situation in life has flipped (not ever really that rich, just had family that was worse off) and has suffered it, I can confirm that:

“They don’t want to be taken advantage of or to feel like, ‘I have money and that’s why people hang out with me,’” Bradley says. “It feels very invalidating.”

Because it is true. The more money you have in a situation attracts the sort of people who just want the benefits of it, and if you are generous like my parents were, those sort of people will be the ones who will have no problem becoming stingy and refuse to help them out afterwards without a dollar sign. They've been trained to live off of you and they will still continue to expect to do so even as so far as to believe you are lying while they become the stingiest.

What this article gets wrong is that it isn't because they value money transactions more, it's that they attract the sort of people who only value them for it. Plus, it also skews your own development as a person because if they come the norm in your surrounding, it fosters an environment of making you a mark.

They do not have the same life experience as you, and you may very well be part of the problem is paying your fair share when you are with someone you consider wealthy (even when they tell you they are no longer doing that good or simply seems more bothered by it) offends you.