im glad I've grown strong, VERY strong against manipulation, forst step was leaving a certain family member behind who manipulated me for 20 years.
this post was submitted on 09 Jan 2024
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Well you can't always do that.
I used to do that, but I've been cutting that out. I started doing this technique where I specifically ask what is happening in social situations. This lets the manipulators know that I will out them if they start with their crap. Life is a lot less complicated this way, and I like it.
My way of dealing with it is maintain a dubious attitude at all times so people can never figure out if they successfully fucked with you or it's yet another ruse.
I realized I was similarly getting manipulated and teased in my late teens. Looking back, I think alot of it was down to me missing/misinterpreting social signals and trying to fit in. I was usually aware of what was going on but didn't know how to extricate myself in a way that wouldn't bring further ridicule.
Once I became aware of the pattern, I stopped talking to and approaching people. I keep to myself and generally approach social situations from a respectful but hostile and mistrustful position until proven otherwise. I'm trying to break this habit but its difficult after living it for so long.
I think there is nothing wrong with the habit of not trusting people, before they prove themselves.
I get that, like when you're being made fun of, and you become aware of it, but you don't know what to do about it so you just try to make it so obvious in the hopes it will make the bullies self reflect and stop (which they don't)
Maybe.
Remember: consent matters. Whatever they do, and for whatever reasons, so long as YOU are okay with it, that's perhaps all that matters?
Illustration example: a toddler "manipulates" parent, but parent enjoys giving in & playing along.
Well, I usually don't like it, but I really don't know how to respond other than playing along.
Why do you go along with it? Does it bother you?
Probably yes to both.
For me, at least, it is kind of empathy coupled with social anxiety, regardless of autism or not.
It's like a defense/coping mechanism to reflect the attitude/tone of the other person to make them feel more comfortable/agreeable imo.