If you wouldn't take advice from someone, then don't accept their criticism.
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"You are under no obligation to be the same person you were 5 minutes ago" - Alan Watts
This one is a bit hard-won for me. You see I used to be an asshole. It was my brand. I thought "it's just in my nature".
Fortunately, I was also a student of religion (mostly because I was a militant atheist. Know your enemy and all that). Studying Buddhism, I began to observe the nature of self. I found enough distance from it to see its transient nature.
I realized being an asshole was a choice and I could just as easily choose otherwise. Soon I began to discover this was true of most character traits.
I'm not saying you don't have consistent patterns of behavior. I'll hopefully always be curious and analytical. But for the most part, the way you conduct yourself and where you focus your attention is a choice.
So, if you're not happy with who you are maybe don't be so attached to the idea of 'who you are". And if that seems hard, observe what you pay your attention to and try to find the distance between observation and behavior. In that gap lies the choice you make, consciously or not, to be "you".
Learn to be curious. Donβt know that word, define it. Never heard of that person. Wikipedia. Ever wonder how a combustion engine works. Look it up. I grew up when I had to write things down and go the library. We live in an age of wonder with unlimited knowledge at your fingertips. There is no excuse for ignorance today. Youβre just being indolent. Learn to be curious π§
Also. Admit when you are wrong and apologize.
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