this post was submitted on 09 Jun 2025
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Off My Chest

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I (19M) call my American girlfriend (22F) long-distance. However, I’m autistic and very nervous when I call.

I tend to be very dry and only say one word or one thing, and I don’t know how to properly respond when my girlfriend gets anxiety attacks over call and she has to leave from being overstimulated.

I just say “oh okay” because I don’t know what to say.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 18 hours ago

Try playing co-op codenames, it is a fun way to interact over phone.

https://codenames.game/

[–] [email protected] 7 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago)

she's a book you haven' t read yet. but you can't read the book; you have to ask her to tell you about it

[–] [email protected] 6 points 19 hours ago

Ask her what she needs you to do or say during those moments. Anxiety is different for everyone, and what might calm one person might be more anxiety-inducing for her. Just make sure to ask when she isn't in an attack!

Something that helps me when I'm nervous about calling someone I'm dating is to make some of the calls a "date". Watch a show or play a game together, that way conversation is focused on what you're doing together. This way you don't have to stress about making interesting conversation (because the activity is making things interesting for you).