this post was submitted on 07 Jun 2025
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Witches VS Patriarchy

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[–] [email protected] 47 points 4 days ago (19 children)

My job includes doing a lot of events on college campuses, so I see a lot of t-shirts for classic rock bands. I see a Dark Side of the Moon shirt at nearly every event. I'm a huge lifelong musician and music lover, so I often ask if they've listened to that album. If they have, we have a nice discussion about Pink Floyd. If not, I encourage them to give it a listen, because it is an album that has literally changed people's lives.

One girl told me she hadn't heard it, but her GRANDMOTHER told her it was the greatest album ever made. First of all: Grandmother? That hurt. Secondly, I told her grandma may be right, go listen to that album.

Recently, someone was wearing an Abby Road shirt, so I asked. They turned out to be a huge Beatles fan, and we had a nice conversation about it.

OTOH, one girl had on a Kiss shirt, so I asked her, and she didn't even know that Kiss was a band. She just liked the shirt.

Not everyone asking is looking to start an argument. Often we are just older music fans who are thrilled to see young people embracing the great rock music of the classic era, and want to talk to them about it. Engage those older music lovers, they may be able to tell you about other albums or artists you might like, or tell cool stories about shows they've been to. In my case, I worked for many years on the record biz, and have lots of stories of personal meetings and backstage experiences with truly legendary musicians. Young music lovers enjoy my stories, but if you responded with "name 5 women who trust you," I'd just write you off as a defensive, confrontational jerk, and ignore you. No fun stories for you.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Suddenly realizing how many women I knew have come out as non-binary "Uhhh, uhhh... Well my wife? Wait, no, um, my friend? No, they're not- uh,"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Who even asks that? Or Am I wooshing myself?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago

I think it was a trend going around in tiktok

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago

I have seen it when its a young kid wearing like a VanHalen shirt, and the old guys assumption is they have never listened to that band ever.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago

The women I know who are into metal are way more into the band than almost any straight men I know.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Nice notion, but won't work.
Those people will happily list every women they know, however distant.
Many men don't even have a concept for this kind of "trust".

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 days ago (4 children)

Who gives you the right to challenge if someone is truly "trusted" or not? You don't know the person or the people they are citing, so you are just convicting men without any evidence at all.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Just what kind of trust you need? Many trust me, they also think I'm a moron and look down on me.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 days ago

I've listened to Vital Remains' Let Us Pray once every couple weeks for the past 15 years and can't name one song off of the album. I can play the guitar parts along to it, half the time I can't even remember the name of the band. This is not vital info to my brain.

I would suggest telling them to go fuck themselves and moving on.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 days ago (5 children)

I live in fear of this type of person, especially as someone who listens to metal which tends to be male-dominated. I'm an album person and I'm not always checking the table of contents when I listen. There are bands I've been a fan of for over a decade that I don't have five songs memorized for. I love these bands and I don't think I'm fake for liking them or wearing a shirt.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 days ago (1 children)

My brain just doesn't respond well to those type of questions anyway. Most brains don't, which is why those 'gotcha' street interview videos are so common. Most of those people aren't idiots, they're just panicking.

"Name 5 nations" "..uhhhhh, Antarctica, Canada, Texas, London, Taiwan"

"Oof, two out of five, no money for you, just public shame."

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 days ago

My daughter taught me a good response for when people ask random questions that are intended to be passive aggressive, or just terrible comments from a nasty person in general. You just respond "YUR cool" and nothing else. It actually stops most people in their tracks because they don't know how to respond.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Just remember you don't have to prove yourself to anyone. People that gate-keep like this aren't worth your time anyways.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago

"Oh you are a Valkyrie fan? Name every Valkyrie in existance" meme.jpg

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago

I (~40 year old dude) had a similar thought when I saw this post. I like spaceslug a lot (and I'm wearing one of their tshirts right now!) but I don't really know individual songs. Lemanis is a great album and Memorial has some good tracks, but names? Uhhh

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[–] [email protected] 48 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

I once knew a girl who shaved her head bald. Her default response to "Does the carpet match the drapes?" was "That depends, is my head bleeding?"

[–] [email protected] -2 points 4 days ago

I could name 5x that. I don't wear band shirts nor that level of pettyness and distrust tho

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

"I have not made any attempt to memorize song names"

"I don't want to share names of family and friends"

If I was asked to give names, I would strongly consider listing names from Mambo No. 5. While humming the tune to remember the names.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (3 children)

On impulse my subconscious cognitive stack attempted to run this check on myself before I even finished reading it and it was kind of a pleasant surprise to find myself spoiled for choice o_o

(if i had to narrow it down just five: 1. my best friend who i met through a niche fandom in 2012, 2. the friend i've had the longest since we were in middle school in the late '90s, 3. my partner, 4. the person who owns the discord server i consider my home, and 5. someone i used to date but we've kinda been DM penpals for years because of overlapping interests and i looove the fiction she writes online ^^)

glad i'm not the kind of dipshit who would try to gatekeep someone for their interests, although i fear i might run afoul of it by accident because i'll see someone wearing a Dream Theater shirt and be SO excited that they're into a band I used to be crazy about back in the day that I blurt out dumb superlative questions in a hamfisted attempt to socialize x_x;

OH WOW WHATS YOUR FAVORITE SONG gosh i havent listened to them in way too long i used to listen to six degrees of inner turbulence on like a daily basis and they'll mistake my eagerness for aggression ;~;

i fucking hate being amab...

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)

There's a huge difference between "name five" and "what's your favourite" in my opinion. And if they can't name even one (I pinch band tees off my girlfriends to wear all the time) then you can use that as an excuse to be like "you should really check them out, can I show you my fav?" then pull out your phone and play it for them! :)

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

I find niche interest infodumps cute, not aggressive. Regardless of whether I have any interest in the niche or not.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 days ago

Woah woah woah friend, it’s okay.

I’m preeeetty sure most reasonable people will catch on to the eagerness in your tone, and going over-niche infodump is a world of difference from a short, accusatory line.

Awkward sincerity isn’t a sin.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 days ago

Bold of you to assume I associate with 5 people!

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