Please, don't be dismissive of a real problem just because people you (rightfully) hate are disproportionately more affected.
this post was submitted on 29 May 2025
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This is absolutely a major contributing factor, but there's more to it than this. Everybody is lonely, pretty much regardless of gender. This issue hurts everyone.
And it is also caused in part because of how fucked up we've designed our society. It's nearly impossible to make friends as an adult because
- we're all working too much to have the free time for it
- there are (effectively) no third places where you can hang out with the expectation to meet people without the expectation of spending money
- to get anywhere you generally need a car, highways and roads divide and spread everything which makes walking or biking difficult
- social media is run for profit, not for the sake of actually connecting people
- these above issues feed into the issue OP is pointing out. If you are lonely and your life isn't going too well, then you're gonna seek answers for this complicated issue. And fascists are all too willing to take advantage and provide simple answers. It then turns into a self feeding cycle.
I'm sure there's a bunch of other reasons too, but those are the ones of the top of my sleep deprived head. Even if all the above awful values men have disappeared, the above problems would still need to be fixed.
Also to add to the list:
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As third-places don't exist without paying for things, more socialisation has moved online where intimate connections are not as deep as inperson so the connections are weaker and don't last as long.
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Internet socialising has a tendency to form echo chambers and social bubbles so interacting with new people with different perspectives, even online, is more difficult which is eroding socialising skills.
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Dating sites and apps have capitalized on this loss of places to meet people and most of these platforms are controlled by a single entity: Match Group.
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Match Group are explicitly making the dating experience worse for both men and women because it makes more money for them and they have little to no competition.
It goes like this: women get overwhelmed by the sheer volume of messages and harassed on the platform, women leave those platforms, fewer % of women on the platform, men then pay money to get more potential matches, women get overwhelmed, and therefore the cycle repeats.
At least that's my impression from the experience I have had and observed when asking my women friends about it. Not sure how the experience is for those looking for non-hetrosexual relationships, please comment below how it's similar or different for other groups.
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Ding ding ding ding.
On the bright side ive had time to use dumbbells between meetings and I've never looked better?
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Eh, I wouldn't say so. I think it's mainly because men are pushed to be more tough and much less expressive of emotions, which, for one, pushes them down those horrible alt right pipelines, but also makes it hard for them to feel intimacy and make meaningful relationships much harder.
I believe that gender norms incredibly hurt both men and women.
Damn right they do. Toxic masculinity means I can't publicly express myself without this look:
Edit: down votes. See what I mean? Fascism thrives off toxic masculinity. The Nazi beliefs were that a man's role was to make children to propagate the "correct" genes, and die in war. It's a chicken and the egg problem, and we can't address one without addressing the other.
do agree, bt i thinks is alsuu cuz if other factors
EDIT: edited "u" to "i"
Instructions unclear, turned into an insufferable Marxist and now I don't have anyone to talk to
Well, I've been a filthy commie since middle school and I still have no bitches. How do you explain that?
It depends heavily on what kind of commie you are actually.
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If you're an ultra, you're likely too busy shitting on other communists from the comfort of the armchair to look for a relationship
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If you're a ML or Maoist, you probably don't want a relationship to spend more time "reading theory" (watching youtube slop)
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If you're a Trotskyite, you're likely already in a sex offender registry
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If you're a Bordigist, you're playing hard mode when it comes to getting a relationship as you refuse to be a usufructuary traitor to the health of the species (you avoid drinking and smoking and all like the plague)
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If you're a revolutionary Marxist who has read theory, then you'll drive people away with your revolutionary aura
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If you're a Marxist who hasn't read theory, then you're a liberal who shouldn't have any problems finding a relationship
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The meme didn't say "be a filthy commie;" the meme said "punch Nazis." Less theory, more praxis.
Maybe it's time to try not calling us bitches?
What if this one nazi-puncher is gay? /s
Gogo nazi-puncher, also kick them too!
So if I'm a lonely guy it can only be because I'm a sack of shit. Cool cool. Love that. Great for the self esteem.
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Fascism is a desiccant more powerful than silica gel.
I think it is at least accurate to some degree - but, sadly, both romantic and sexual attraction are subject to a whole chaotic mess of both conscious and unconscious factors, often out of our own control. Otherwise toxic relationships and paraphilias (using the term in the sense of fetishisations genuinely harmful to yourself and/or others) wouldn't really be a thing.
The fascists go for a predatory numbers game, hitting up as many women as possible while hoping they find ones vulnerable enough to get roped into an abusive relationship. It's a strategy that breaks down against women who socially reinforce self respect amongst each other. Of course, this isn't unique, as fascism similarly recruits vulnerable men who struggle with self respect. It's abuse and cruelty all the way down.
There are plenty of women in far right/neo-fascist etc. groups, and often people from those groups have relationships with other people from those groups. Your comment gives very much the impression that only males are fascists, which is absolutely not my experience dealing with Forza Nuova/Casapound people (both neo-fascists parties) in my youth.
I also see the male loneliness epidemic as an orthogonal problem to males being fascists, but that's yet another topic.
There are plenty of women in far right/neo-fascist etc. groups
There are plenty of the populist Mango Mussolini type fascist women, but AFAIK there are far fewer in the out and proud neo-nazi groups. There's this interview from this guy who was a neo-nazi until the mid-90s, and he talks about how the complaints from the incels now are the same as back when he was in. There were women in the group, but at a ratio of 7 or 8 to 1.
Yes, I am quite sure that in most countries the distribution of women/men within those groups are not equal and unbalanced towards men.
That said, being a member of the actual group doesn't mean not being in those people social groups, accepting or even sharing some of their ideas etc.
I wish this was accurate. There would be a lot less fascists.