People tweeting stuff. We allow tweets from anyone.
RULES:
"I have it worse"
and
"Naaah bro that's not that weird / dumb I do that too"
Are very close sentiments at face value and it can take a fair amount of finesse to get something to read as the second one.
Training to be a peer recovery mental health specialist helped a lot if any of you are interested in learning some better techniques. It's mostly timing and choosing the right parts of the story to tell.
Thinking about it, I would at the very least much prefer it over getting unsolicited advice from people who know way too little about the situation they're trying to fix. That shit genuinely infuriates me.
I don't have a problem when they bring it up either. It's when they dismiss my story to highlight theirs.
"Oh, you were in a car accident? That's NOTHING. I was in a REAL car accident where I nearly died."
"Your parents divorced? That's not even a real divorce. They just separated. My dad died. From the car accident."
"Oh, your house was on fire? You call that a fire? PATHETIC. My house was on fire after my mom drove her car into it, setting off a gas explosion, killing my father."
I was literally told constantly growing up that finding something relatable and sharing is part of normal conversation, but then people would be offended if I did and tell me I'm "too quiet" if I didn't. Like wtf do yall want, WHAT DO I DO, GAAAHHHH . . .
. . . fuck it, I'll just talk about trains the whole time
Bees are also an excellent topic. Did you know there are bees that are nocturnal? Or that some use feces (not their own) to deter predation of their hive?
Where can I find an entire country of people like this? Autist's Paradise, right there.
Support groups and group therapy. Identifying with someone else’s experiences through your own relatable experiences is a reaffirming connection.
It’s helped me a lot navigating the Autistic tendency to get lost in the mechanics of the story. Now I try to end my contribution with reconnection to the original experience, emphasizing the validation, and returning control of the conversation.
Now I try to end my contribution with reconnection to the original experience, emphasizing the validation, and returning control of the conversation.
This is something I've only just figured out how to do! I still need a lot of practice with it, my handoff is awkward and stilted and doesn't always work, but I'm a little proud that I can still learn new coping mechanisms and strategies even at this comparatively later stage of my life.
When did you learn this particular skill? Did you have guidance from someone close to you, or did you figure it out on your own?
Sounds like they learned it in therapy and/or wsupport groups.
You right, you right. It's early and I fail at reading comprehension 😂
Group therapy. It’s very intimidating to start, since you’re joining a group of people that already know the ropes. It took a while for me to join in and share, but it didn’t matter. I personally learned far more from observation than sharing my personal experiences. I’m in my 40s, if that helps.
Ah, dammit. I'll see if I can find something around me. It's hard to convince myself to go because of the group aspect; much easier to stay home where I won't upset anyone accidentally. But it does sound like it would be helpful; I'm younger than you but not by much. Thank you again!