this post was submitted on 23 May 2025
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Too Afraid To Ask

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Or narcissistic behavior like some people have said?

From my friend Jaiden that I posted about, just curious.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

I hate them already.

To be loved, you cannot have this much love for yourself.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 hours ago

be so beautiful people of all genders and orientations would be head over heels for me

how would all orientations be even possible? for example, straight women only like men, and jaiden is a woman.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (1 children)

That sounds deeply pathological and I wouldn't want to associate with this person. It's worded in such a self-aggrandizing kind of way that I wouldn't even say this ironically. A normal person at most wants to be respected in their community for things they do for the people around them. This person wants gifts for being the most specialist baby.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

If you do decide to keep the friendship, just never let it become what you can do for them. The narcissists I've known don't understand reciprocity. They're a level above the people they interact with. You can work around that to force a co-equal relationship but that has to be much more intentional than it would be normally. Whatever enthusiasm you show for their self-actualisation, they should be showing for yours.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

They can care to an extent, like “Oh my God, I’m so sorry!” but really just go back to how great they want to be. They believe people who call it unrealistic are “abusing them”, and don’t really care much when I say they’re already better because im not famous or well-known.

She also always calls herself kind, wants to be feared by Christ and God, etc.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

wants to be feared by Christ and God

If I'm reading this right, I'd recommend fleeing immediately. That's a very strange thing to say to another person or believe internally.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 hours ago

Or you could try to talk her into doing a luigi

[–] [email protected] 5 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

Sounds like a child or someone extremely immature that has uncritically absorbed idealistic, unrealistic, and counter-productive mass cultural ideals (meaning, created by the ultra-rich owners of media/advertising corporations to manipulate the masses for their own ends) without thinking about the necessary sacrifices to achieve those goals, or the negative consequences that would occur as a result of achieving those goals, or whether any of those goals would actually lead to fulfillment and happiness.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

She also says people saying it's unrealistic are "abusing her".

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

Sounds like my ex. Terrified to show vulnerability, since it was always horribly punished by the abuser, so they endlessly deflect blame onto others. And it's not just a tactic, but an all-encompassing delusion that cannot be reasoned with and they don't even see. And unfortunately, healing begins with being vulnerable, accepting responsibility, and trusting in others that want to help you.

(Not responsibility for why they are that way, but responsibility for how their actions hurt others and taking responsibility for healing, since no one else can do it for them.)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (2 children)

She's 24, my age. She has apparently suffered extreme abuse for years and is locked up in her house, IDK.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 hours ago

Oh :(

I unfortunately had an abused partner and they had narcissistic behaviors that were either ways to survive the abuse, or learned directly from their abuser, mirroring and reproducing the very behavior that damaged them so badly.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

My other guess would be she's ~~a narcissist~~ exhibiting narcissistic behavior and thinks everyone else will think more highly of her if she says she values those things.

All of those ideals embody the most selfish, toxic, and self-defeating ideas that we all carry to some degree as a result of this capitalist, consumerist culture we exist within. To see someone claim to believe every single one so unconditionally is wild to me.

I see nothing in there about friendship, love, or community, or finding satisfaction in struggle, or good health, or humility, or responsibility, or charity.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

These are my exact aspirations. I don't typically say it out loud though, and I make no effort to achieve them

[–] [email protected] 4 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Ah, thanks. If you do not have NPD, this is probably normal

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

I'm so sorry, this was a joke- I do have NPD, among other diagnoses. Those aspirations are atypical, and sound potentially pathological in your friend's case, but it's only clinically significant if it's functionally impairing

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 hours ago