Asklemmy

For some reason I find glitching physics in games to be hilarious. This clip from AC4 had me wheezing.

Kin ah pet dat DAWG??!

We adopted the cutest 5lb dog, a Chihuahua Pekingese mix, she’s an angel. One day she started humping her toys, and I mean absolutely railing them. That first time she did it in front of us I almost died. I buy her large stuffed animals now for better grip, I’m just glad she’s getting extra cardio.

Im not sure I have for this millenium.

This video of two Danes trying Surströmming fish had me in a laughing fit.

Does it count if I was high? If so this nonsense right here

My partner is overly anxious about our child safety often worrying about things to an unhealthy extent. When sitting the infant up their head moved “too quickly” making my partner worry. After having to say multiple times the child is obviously fine, the child stood up and starts slamming their head into the bed, thinking it’s a game. They’d stand up and jump backwards onto the soft bed. Then sit up and slam their head forward. Just fun rough play at this age. I belly laughed harder than I have in a least two years.

After frequently “getting in trouble” over minor things like this, it just made me lose it that my child did the exact action my partner worried so much about but 30x more forceful because they thought it was funny. Hahaha! Infants are actually hilarious and make the first year of pain worth it.

Just now I hugged my child and said say daddy 叫爸爸 they then build up such a forceful “baba” that it takes them 10 seconds before they release their lips like a sneeze that makes you freeze.

Yesterday they also got upset to the point of crying that I wouldn’t let them have their infant scissors but they finally got to them when I wasn’t looking. Then when I caught them, instead of crying again they played it off smoothly by acting like they picked them up to give them to me lol

The Okitsura JoJo The World scene

This beautiful series of images and the corresponding text from old reddit. Folks, I present kinder surprise sorry. Old reddit was a fun place sometimes.

The RIPline.

The people who made "If the 40k Emperor had a Text-to-speech" had to give it up for copyright/trademark reasons so they moved to making World Of Darkness (Vampire the Masquerade, Hunter the Reckoning, etc.) content. Their "Hunter: The Parenting" has been hysterical so far but personally the "Norfolk Wizard Game" has me pausing to cackle like a madwoman. I have played and GMed for WoD over the years and it's just pure gold. I especially liked the episode "1 hour of Hermetic Propaganda to Fall Asleep To"

The "none pizza, left beef" story got me pretty good when it origionally posted.

Nathan Fielder, The Rehearsal, S2E3

Some story posted on hexbear about a woman who was antagonized by a misogynist all night who doused him in gasoline and then he was like GO ON, DO IT and then she did it and i laughed so. hard

This was like 15 years ago, but there was a video by Videogamedunky on YouTube where he prank called places.

I was laughing so hard in my bed at night that I was genuinely wondering if I’d gone crazy.

Not sure why I found it so funny at the time. Maybe I was a bit tired too.

• i’m waiting
• hurry up

me waiting faster: -_-