Occasional mouse and keyboard lag up to 1 second.
this post was submitted on 05 May 2025
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On my dads computer, back in the day, I set the sound for every action in Windows to a silly song i downloaded off kazaa (Windows xp days, i believe)
So this was the sound that played for clicking the start menu, hovering over programs/apps, whatever it was and making that menu appear, and any sub menu for individual games or apps following that. Any kind of prompt like errors or "are you sures" etc, minimising/maximising a window. Everything!
That's what my virus would do. I just need the perfect sound to apply. Maybe that annoying tiktok song "Oh no! Oh no! Oh no no no no no!"
The version I recall was once if those Flash animations with a cute squirrel or whatever saying something... but it was really quiet so you'd need to turn up the volume to hear. Then partway through it changed to sex stuff and blasted out in a voice like a monster truck announcer
"anal sex dot com, all anal, all the time!"
It was not a virus, but still great fun: coworker had a fat UNIX workstation, but no idea of the particulars except for the program he was using. I knew my ways around such machines, and I could log in from another machine via serial terminal.
What the coworker knew about the audio capabilities of his machine was the occasional "beep" it made. I found the "auplay" command, and a list of 8-bit audio samples.
So one day I was sitting at the PC next to him, logged in, and command ready to run, and waited for an error message to pop up. Then I pressed return, starting "auplay laughter.au".
That face.
So you had the moment, and you just sent a laugh? Suspicious story edit imo, you streamed him a huge fart, didn't you?
Well hey, that domain's available!
Funny, though it is not an internet address but a filename.
I had a friend who sent me a "Y2K fix" program back in '99. Said it would patch the error so I'd be safe. When I ran it, it swapped the letters Y and K on my keyboard.
Finds anything and everything that can be set to dark mode and sets it back to light mode, but not while you're using it and not immediately.
That poor guy that thought he accomplished it by just having a virus that changed peoples files to pictures from Clannad but got arrested for copyright.
Like genue wishing this one.
Sounds like a variation of the Ohio virus. I used to have a copy of it for the Amiga Amstrad. It would trigger and make the piezo speaker say “Ohio Ohio Ohhhh!”
When I was in high school I made a .bat file that autoran when you put it in a device. All it would do is open the disc drive every 90 seconds however it did convince one teacher that she had a virus which caused giggles all around.
Whenever someone forgot to log out the terminal at university, we "fixed" their ".login" file by adding a command that listed all files, followed by a " ... deleted", and logging the user out again. One could easily see that the deletion was just fake, because the next time one logged in, all those files were listed again...
RedReader my beloved 😢
I believe that specific site was called "Last Measure". It would also open up a bunch of shock sites...
Yep. I remember you could go to *.on.nimp.org and it'd lock up the browser with alert() loops, play something loud and obnoxious, and show shock images. In middle school we'd convince people to go to something like runescapehacks.on.nimp.org in school. I specifically remember one that said "Everyone come look, I'm looking at gay porn!" on repeat.
Something like that web site happened to our secretary ages ago. The boss, standing behind her, had asked her to look something up, she innocently clicked on one "search result", and porn ads popped up. Whenever she closed a window, more opened. All while the CEO was looking over her shoulder. I was called, and killed Netscape, and had to explain that this was not the secretaries fault. I entered the same search, and showed them both the amazingly genuine looking result, and the CEO said that this could have happened to him, too. And he was thankful to learn how to kill the browser in such a case.
I had one guy in the late 90s at my HS who made a program that copied itself onto every directory on the computer at startup. It was a .com file and if you ran it it would use the PC speakers to play a tone increasing in volume and pitch until it was unbearable. You had to do a hard boot to end it.
I also remember the Form virus that made the PC speakers make a sound each time you pressed a key. Can't remember if it did anything else.
albanian virus.
Much better than A Serbian Virus.
Simple, every now and again switch a key input with a neighboring key. Imagine slowly losing your confidence in your motor skills as you just can't seem to type properly no matter how careful you are.
It would do it like once every 10-1000 minutes, you will never catch it and slowly lose your grip on reality.
I swapped the N and M keys on a co-worker's keyboard and even made a custom keyboard mapping for it as well.
Excuse me sir, they said "harmless"
That's nasty
I call bullshit. In the 90s you had to turn a phisical wheel to increase the volume of the computer.
As someone caught out by this, most of us had speakers and windows had volume controls as well. They're kinda useless to have super low volume, so the tendency was to turn the speakers up and have windows control it. (what could go wrong? mine was always set low in windows, this was before lots of ads on browsers would randomly come on too) Fortunately everyone thought it was the guy in the cubicle next to me, with about 10-15 heads popping out of cubicles in our direction.
And for what it's worth the audio clip finished with an enthusiastic "YEE HAW"
Right it was like those jumps scare sites where it would play something very quietly so you'd turn up the volume, then they would announce the porn at full volume. It was a gag site/video file, not a virus.
I still can, rocking the Logitech Z5500s that I bought close to 20 years ago now. Absolutely the Pinnacle of PC speakers.
On somethingawful back in the day if you were on any one page on their forums for more then about 20 minutes, a audio clip would play that said something like "HEY EVERYBODY I'M LOOKING AT GAY PORNO"
i remember one from GNAA (racist edge lords) that did that… it also spawned endless moving windows that were impossible to close so you had to hard power off the computer… also it maxed out the volume….
it was just javascript though
I knew a guy who had a shitty boss so he set every key press and program function click (ok, cancel, etc.) to play that sound.
Not so harmless to the guy living in Iran that got stoned.
When I was in high school in the 90s a group of us in computer class made a 'virus' that would launch the hamster dance website in all of the classroom computers randomly. We had to put it on a diskette and install it manually on each computer but at the time none of the computers even had antivirus so the school had to reformat them to remove it.
theres used to be a DOS batch script line you could put into a windows startup that pipes the video output into the keyboard input, immediately crashing the machine. i believe this was patched after windows 7.
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