My head hurts from reading that. Comma and periods, people. Comma and periods.
this post was submitted on 25 Apr 2025
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Cruelty met in kind.
Everyone here balancing the ethics of getting wet like it's assault.
Water melts snowflakes and wicked witches, everyone else need not worry.
All living things should be used to being wet either all the time or somewhat regularly. To think beyond that, wow, society has its teeth in you and you are lost.
Those 40 acid tablets I had in my back pocket though
"I hope you're free for about a month, man!"
"hey man, am I driving ok?"
"I think we're parked, man"
You’ll be fine in 12 hours.
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As a parent, if my kid did that, I'd likely side with the neighbour. I would put it (very loosely) in the category of "natural consequence" punishments.
It fits the crime, it discourages the crime, it forces empathy with the cat, and it does no real harm.
I like that approach. But when the parent only has their kid's half of the story, it's understandable why they would be pissed. I think most of us would be. Why did they do that to my kid? I'd want answers amd I wouldn't be happy about it.
I suspect most kids who would throw water at a cat like that would not be very good liars about it. Also, adults tend not to dump water on kids for no reason. I would definitely take the time to pick apart what happened, before going full papa bear mode.
I might be pissed, but my instinct would be to find out who I should be pissed at first, before going on the war path.
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This is my favorite answer. I'd argue that he got less than the natural consequences of his actions. In nature, when one assaults another, even with something as harmless as water, it's usually reasonable to interpret it as a threat, the response to which is usually violence. That kid is lucky he didn't get a face full of claws. I've gotten a lot worse from gently touching cats that, as it turned out, didn't want to be touched. Boundaries are important.
Natural consequences doesn't mean "law of the jungle" here. It just means linking cause and effect in a proportionate manner.
I tend to use a lot of "natural consequence parenting". Basically, the response should flow from the cause. If you throw water over your friend, you can't then complain if they throw water over you. You learn that, while it's fun when expected, it can be deeply unpleasant when unexpected.
It's a lot more effective than random generic punishments. The trick is shielding them from excessive results, while allowing proportional ones to play out. E.g. swinging on a chair will get a warning, but often not stopped. When they fall, there's an "I told you so" before/with the cuddle. If there is a risk of a more serious injury however, e.g. the corner of a table where their head may hit, then I step in and stop things.
It's not really about the proportion. The rest you have right. Things (good or bad) may happen as a result of your behavior (good or bad). Those things are natural consequences. We talk about it a lot in the context of punishing behavior, but natural consequences can also reinforce behavior. Of course, if we design those consequences, they're no longer natural.
As a native social media pedant, I'd just like to take a moment to split hairs and point out that's the literal definition of that phrase.
With all that said, I'm glad you've taken that approach. They're very lucky to have you. I wish I could've had more adults like that in my life as a child. Here's to you and your contribution to supporting the next generation. May they pass on those values, too.
That's why I clarified. There's 2 ways to read the phrase, one a lot harsher than the other.
It seems to be working well. It also results in me being surprised a lot of the time. I'm ready to deal with a scuffed knee, or a bruised ego. Instead they either get back up and try again, or just pull it off. At that point I need to mentally correct for their new capabilities.
The key thing is, I'm not looking after a small pet, I'm training a future adult. They need to both instinctively understand how the world works, while packing as much awesomeness and magic into the formative years as possible. Letting them learn and practice is a big part of that.
I don't have kids but this is pretty much how my dad raised me. It made me really respect when he gave me a hard no for something, it meant "no really the risk majorly outweighs the reward" and even if I didn't understand it at the time I trusted it. I got a lot of I told you so after varying seriousness of injuries lol. Eventually I learned that the soft warning meant I was going to have a lot of fun but I needed to be ready for if it went sideways. Now I've got a pretty healthy sense of my own limits and when to start gauging risk/reward
That's basically the goal I'm aiming for. It's also worth remembering to always give an (age appropriate) explanation with the "no". If you're using a hard no, then there is something they don't yet understand. Explaining it lets them integrate that knowledge into their future risk management.
The only downside is their confidence is high enough to terrify me! The job of containing and shaping that confidence, without damaging it gives me plenty of grey hairs.
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Throwing water at each other, the way people used to throw eggs...
Don't worry. Water prices will start going up too.
i think i still remember where i was the first time i saw this posted
Were you walking with your dinosaur next to Jesus on the beach when the footprints disappeared?
yes.i don't know if it matters, but i was also wearing sandals with socks on.
Lucky for me I'm one of today's 10,000 and have not seen this before.
For me, it was 3rd and Market. It was November 22nd, 1963 at about 1238pm. I was walking past Sal's Electeonic Emporium when I saw the commotion on the TVs in the display window.
i can only begin to imagine the pandemonium. oh, my god..
We really thought it was about to be World War III.
sad when we found out it was just an old gay ye
Okay, you lost me here. Clearly, I'm not up to date on current events and references.
oh, sorry. so sorry. kanye west made a tweet the other day. that's all i'll say. google it, okay?
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Idk,
Shouting “Hey, don’t do that” loud and clear may be more effective.
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kid may have thought they where alone and will get jumped from getting caught.
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May alert the parents their kid is up to mischief.
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Doesn’t potentially start an escalation war with neighbors
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Doesn’t carry the small risk of the child falling or otherwise getting hurt with you as an easy blame.
Think of it like this: Does the kid now understand the “evil” of their actions to try be better next time. Or will they feel vindicated by their parents support against your “evil”
Or will they feel vindicated by their parents support against your “evil”
Then that's a parental problem, not a problem caused by the action.
You're right, but this is fuck around and find out territory. I would want the escalation to make it clear where I stand with my cat.
You're probably in the right here, but at least they'll know what it's like to be assaulted with water.
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For me it is fine, that bastard will think twice next time.
If his Dad's reaction is any indication, he likely won't.
Except the cat owner is willing to go to bat for the cat
If nothing else that kid will understand he's picking a fight with more than a cat
I want to believe that, but how will the owner accomplish that with the dad intervening?
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