this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2025
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Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem fell victim to a thief while eating dinner at a downtown Washington, DC, restaurant Sunday night, two sources familiar with the incident, including a law enforcement source, told CNN.

The Secret Service, which provides security for Noem, reviewed security camera footage at the restaurant and saw an unknown white male wearing a medical mask steal her bag and leave the restaurant.

The thief got away with Noem’s driver’s license, medication, apartment keys, passport, DHS access badge, makeup bag, blank checks, and about $3,000 in cash, the law enforcement source said.

(page 2) 25 comments
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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

I hope they donate it to an animal shelter

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago

Good. Just a shame she didn’t choke to death, slowly.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

When they catch the thief they'll take them out back and shoot them

Like a dog.

[–] [email protected] 107 points 1 day ago (7 children)

$3k in cash? Her coke habit is expensive

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 day ago

Medication? Sounds like someone needs to attend a wellness farm to remove themselves from the teat of BiG pHaRmA

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Incoming federal ban on n95s

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Good. She fascist trash & there literally aren't enough bad things in the world that can happen to her.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago

A puppy killer too let's never forget. About as comic book villain as one can get.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 day ago

I give up trying to write satire. You just can't beat the real thing.

[–] [email protected] 58 points 1 day ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) (2 children)

Looks like drop off of state secrets to russian agent made to look like a theft. What better way than in plain sight and blame it on a thief.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago (9 children)

ffs dead drops aren't done in ways that end up in the news. this recent fascination with conspiracy theories is starting to make liberals look as insane as MAGA nitwits.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Starting to, yes. But they at least still adhere to their political ideologies, instead of replacing them fully with the devout religious worship of a geriatric conman.

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[–] [email protected] 100 points 1 day ago (4 children)

I thought using cash like that was a sign of criminality?Or does that only apply to minorities? You better believe any cop out there would confiscate that shit from any of us faster than you can say civil asset forfeiture. It was certainly a point of contention for Fanni Willis during the Trump trial.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The makeup alone has to weigh a ton. Strong thief.

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[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Why was she carrying around $3k? Nothing illegal about that but that is a little curious.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 day ago (5 children)

She claims she took out that money to celebrate Easter with family... for dinner, activities, and gifts.

I use a credit card for such things, but yeah.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Maybe just because Trump's inner circle is making enough money right now that that's just walking around money to her.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago

It's illegal if the cop who finds it on you says it's illegal.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 day ago (4 children)

That’s where your mind goes?

It’s for coke

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago

That sounds more likely.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 day ago

Lmfao what a fucking loser

[–] [email protected] 134 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 120 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Also, according to our own laws, she was doing something unlawful because why would she need $3,000 in cash?! They'd civil forfeiture that shit if a normal person got caught with that much cash on them.

[–] [email protected] 56 points 1 day ago

Sounds like it was taken via citizen’s civil forfeiture 😊

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