memes

Red Dwarf - Psirens (1993)

As KRYTEN and LISTER head for the cockpit, the airlock monitor fizzes on again and a SECOND LISTER appears on the screen.

LISTER 2: What the hell are you doing taking off when I'm still outside? Let me in.

KRYTEN double-takes between the LISTER inside and the LISTER on the monitor.

KRYTEN: I'm afraid, sir, you're already here.

RIMMER steps down from the cockpit.

LISTER 1: He's a Psiren -- don't let him in. LISTER 2: For god's sake -- I can't hang on any longer. He's the Psiren. Let me in! RIMMER: What do we do? KRYTEN: there's no way to tell which is which. We have to let him in. RIMMER: That means we'll definitely have one Psiren on board. A brain- sucking psychotic temporal lobe slurper. KRYTEN: There's a fifty per cent chance we have one on board already. We can't risk killing the real Lister. I'm letting him in.

Not sure who wrote this specifically but a bunch of Clickhole 'celebrity quotes' were written by Joe Kwaczala who is hilarious.

Speaking of US space program, Clickhole also revealed the greatest presidential speech ever that was never delivered. ...oops, this isn't quite like I remember reading it - maybe this is a different draft?

maybe it makes you think but I'm built different

Twist: You've been in space for a couple years and there's only one Ramirez, you have an aggressive brain tumor.

Lock one in the airlock, and confine the already-in one to quarters. If Outside Ramirez is bad but can't defeat the module's external shielding, this isn't a good plan. This has the downside of bringing Bad Ramirez to Earth but the upside of not forcing Either Ramirezs, good or bad, to fight for their life. Anyway, fucking love this. Thanks for reminding me of the horror of a Second Ramirez.

This is referenced in Warframe in a couple of ways at different points in the game. For example: You have a kinda schizophrenic ship AI, and while you're floating in space he says this sometimes:

"KNOCK KNOCK! ...Now who would be knocking all the way out here?! Operator, I don't think you should answer that." (Here's a clip: https://youtu.be/ilHi4LeKZmM)

I'll not mention the others since I'd say they're spoilers.