Bidet causes vampirism?
this post was submitted on 02 Apr 2025
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Anyone got bidets to recommend (full toilets or kit to install on top of current toilets)?
I feel like most are really expensive and I wouldn’t want to waste money on something too expensive or something bad
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An actual shit post lol
Why are you using a French dude in the pictures when everyone knows they don’t use bidets?
I’ve brought bidets awesomeness in groups before.
It is immediately apparent who is “in the club” and who is not.
Soon. Soon.
Clean butt club!
Installed one for my wife when she moved it, never used it. At this point I've forgotten it's even there. Talk about old habits dying hard.
Why is my ass always itching?
Because you don't wash it, you dumbass.
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fuck yeah
24/7, Orchard fresh, my dude. I've OPTIONS.
I'm using one of those hand squeezer bidets and yes, it's great. Ever wiped your ass until it was sore? That's because some little shit pebbles refuse to get out. With a bidet you can shoot those motherfuckers directly out of your rectum.
We’ve got one of those ones that attaches to a regular toilet, and I gotta say that it’s fucking wonderful.
However. The water pressure in our house can be kinda weird. Mostly it’s normal, but sometimes it’s like a jet washer for a few seconds. And those few seconds after you’ve first opened the bidet are like getting reamed out by a Karcher.
My friend has one of those Japanese ones. It also has a warmed toilet seat. When I came out, I said that seat is amazing and they said people never come out of there. I proposed that they were napping on the seat. Why do seat warmers feel so good? The thing is, I could never figure out how to make the actual bidet part work. I suspect the people who took a long time were also trying to test it out, but didn't know how. Or maybe they did and enjoyed it?
Mom, dad, I’m gay. Also that heated toilet seat is amazing.
Japanese toilets are so far beyond what we're doing anywhere else in the world it's not even funny
Wtaf have our toilet scientists been doing for the last century in the western world?
It’s as easy as using ~~two~~ three shells.
I remember it being a meme, but I couldn't remember which one. For the uninformed like me: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/three-seashells
What's the third one for
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Bidets are amazing. If you don't have one you should go buy one, they start fairly low priced
Paid $50 for mine like 7 years ago. Is it fancy? Heck no. Does it clean my butt real good? Heck yes.
When I can afford a fancy heated, air drying bidet that will be my goalpost of success.
I started with a $30 cheapo 10 years ago and it was life changing. Last year I got a stupid expensive one. Like, has a night light, auto flush (because I got the matching toilet), auto lid, heated seat, heated water, deodorizer, wireless remote, etc. (Toto S7A)
Just so you're prepared, the air dry doesn't fully replace the pat dry entirely unless you're gonna sit there for a good long time.
That said, I have no regrets.
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Yes.
Bidet with a quiet-close toilet seat 🧑🍳💋
Auto lid, auto flush checking in.
Yes, I'm spoiled.
Wiping like a pleb when you travel and slamming the seat.
Remember you don’t have to clean your whole ass. You just have to clean your ass’s hole.
I wash my bum with liquid soap and my ass smells like strawberries all day. Hell yeah bidets
How appropriate to have posted it here. Are you cleaning up the hole place?
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