The creator of MySQL, MaxDB and MariaDB named them after his children My, Max and Maria, so why not
Programmer Humor
Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)
Rules:
- Posts must be relevant to programming, programmers, or computer science.
- No NSFW content.
- Jokes must be in good taste. No hate speech, bigotry, etc.
Then what's about MongoDB?
Hi, it's me, Mongo.
“The two hardest problems in programming are cache invalidation, naming things and off-by-one errors.”
Name a linux distro after her and yourself. Always works.
Well, I made my girlfriend a GUI app that converts subtitles from Windows-1251 to utf-8 encoding so that she doesn't have to remember how to do it. And I didn't even name it after her...
I wrote an automation specifically for my partner to unlock the front door when they arrive home.
Also we got a sexy time button.
Home Assistant is a path to what many would consider... Unnatural.
I made a website for my wife with a list of a ton of reasons why I love her and each time she taps the screen it shows a new one.
So... that is a thing you can do for the cost of a domain name and some cheap hosting.
How many reasons did you code into it?
I don't know, I'd have to check the database. I add to it every once in a while so it keeps growing. I think I started with around 20 or so
Do you check the list to make sure there aren't any repeats?
Me when
When I fail my DSA course
"Girl, I named no variables after you, because you're my only Constant"
You’ll need an exception handler for all those dropping panties.
"Girl, you are my Two's Complement, you're always my plus one on any occaision"
Cuz if you invert the bits of of a binary number and add one you get its negative number, so your girlfried is an equal part of you
smooth 👍
Keeping programming as far away from my relationships as possible.
Instead, I distract them with the fact that I'm a pretty damned good cook and know where the best hole in the wall restaurants are.
My partner programmed me a birthday card, so the programming flirt is real.
How does that work? Asking for a friend
A few ideas:
- a web page with beautiful CSS and possible animation
- LaTeX, for those into BDSM
- a game engine for an interactive "card"
These are actually pretty sweet
- LaTeX, for those into BDSM
Ooo, are you compiling that by hand? Kinky~
You can also combine your names into a Linux distribution.
Deb + Ian = Debian.
I bet they've broken up since
Had tons of kids though. Have you met the buntu family?
The word "Debian" was formed as a portmanteau of the first name of his then-girlfriend (later ex-wife) Debra Lynn and his own first name
"Later ex-wife" is like three tenses of information at once.
Peak efficiency
Debra must be so pissed by now
“I’m sorry you merged WHAT upstream? No I don’t care if there’s a new glibc out there, the one we have works just fine.”
I forked an opensource project to add a couple features for my wife. 😊
This is the kind of love I need in life 💜
So cute! And practical!
And? Did she accept your, err, pull request? 😏
"LGTM, merged" 😏
Remember kids, always use protected branches.
and remember, no means no. if git doesnt want you to merge, dont --force
it
Pushing directly to main just feels better.
I prefer "master"
Pay for dinner
Once when I was still a kid, I told a woman I loved her so much that I could only love her more if she was a robot.
She did not think that was romantic.
there are so many things wrong with this
I think it's kinda sweet for a kid. I mean what's cooler than a robot when you're 7? that's pretty much the pinnicle of "cool" at that age, or at least it was for me. So to compare a crush to a robot for a kid is similar to shakespear comparing thier lover to "a summer's day" or Selena Gomez comparing thier lover to "a love song"
I, uh, wasn't 7. I was about 10 years older than that and just dumb.
I mean Steve Jobs named the Lisa after the daughter he disowned. There’s opportunities here.
MySQL, MariaDB, and MaxScale are all named after Ulf "Monty" Widenius' kids
His first kid was called „My“?
That or SQL
Little Bobby Tables