If anyone needs a transcript I'll write it.
this post was submitted on 07 Mar 2025
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I'll go with #7 I'm curious, and I'd figure out what the limitations of a 'container" is. And maybe I could get a job at the docks knowing what shipping containers are empty or not, or maybe if a lung is a container, I could become a med tech. Many possibilities
You now can start a gravel delivery business with no overhead of having to quarry and crush rock. Massive profits while you undercut your competitors. Your rock gets magically delivered on Sundays you give all your employees off. A (magically) honest living.
yeah, was going to say - gravel and teleport seem the most useful / hackable here
Gravel king 100%
We can teleport 7 inches, but there is no cool down specified.
- Go outside.
- Teleport 7 inches at a time into the sky, at such a high rate it's nearly instant.
- Teleport 7 inches at a time to whatever location you want, at such a high rate it's nearly instant.
Or teleport through a wall
Just don't put a door on your house.
Nice loophole, try not to get motion sickness
I'd vomiting within three teleports. I'll stick with uhhhh ancient useless languages!
uuh I read "can communicate with others" for 1. and i thought "that'd be useful actually"
I will build a mech from toasters. I will implant tiny toasters on to satellites and rockets to control the world from space.
Are babies toasters? I will use my toaster powers to change the definition of toasters in all major dictionaries. The sun is a toaster. People are toasters. I control all life. Mortality is a toaster. There is no bread, only toast. Press the lever down again. The brave little toaster is a global icon. Press the lever down again. We are the immoral children of a loafing god. Press the lever down again. Mosquitos no longer exist, or maybe they do, they've just been transtoastified into kittens. Push the lever down again. No more paper cuts. Push the lever down again. Now I have a nice hat. Push the lever down again.
Push the lever down again...
I love microfiction. Thank you
The gravel one would make you rich pretty quickly depending on how fast you can conjure it.
The teleport 7 inches thing would get you through almost any door or fence including an most stud walls including vault walls.
Id pick the gravel one I think though. Again depending on how fast you can make it. If its a cup per 24hr then the teleport is where its at.
Most people are more than 7” thick. I don’t think it’s as useful as it sounds. Even if you are, you probably have to be mid jump to avoid cutting off your toes or worse, merging your back with the door if you forget to face backwards first.
I’d hope your 7” travel would be counted the trailing edge of your body in the direction of travel front to rear, so a full 7”. Measured from shoetip start to heel end. Most walls in stickbuilt homes are only ~4 1/4” thick, you could teleport through those. If only from tip of shoe to tip of shoe, you’re right. You’d teleport inside your own space. Kinda useless.
Reconsidering 4 (second nose).. Maybe you could cause a second nose to grow on others..? And if a few of us choose this, then we could form an unstoppable team, horribly disfiguring war criminals, oligarchs, and mimes everywhere!
3 (it doesn't say there is a cooldown)
2 and 5
Imagine being ably to hook up a bunch of toasters to a computer and then being able to control the computer with them!
Gravel ain't cheap.
as an example look at the documentary game called "team fortress two"
Whats the cooldown on the teleport and what happens if I teleport into a wall?
Free gravel
Seeing inside an empty container might have a niche usecase where you can infer which containers are not empty, because you can't see inside of them instantly. Maybe if you're doing a job where you have to put away all empty containers, this would save time.
You'd do very well on a few game shows, too!
So I can't currently run at all... Running as fast as Einstein might be an improvement, depending on what age we're talking about
Einstein is a very slow runner, currently.
Well if you are currently unable to walk...
Teleporting away is cool rewardless of the distance
7 inches will get me past a window.
I thought it was 7 inches of total movement which would get me to be intersected by a window.
If there's no cooldown though I think it could still be useful for being really fast.
It also doesn't specify how often/quick you can do it, so you could still move at breakneck speeds, 7 inches at a time
Yes, but what happens if I teleport into a bird one of those times? D:
You'd be an amazing fencer
Or more likely half way through the window, except if you're really really slim!
Or a locked door.
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