So stop at every rung to jerk off. I’m not in a hurry.

Hey who said I had to have my hands full of my own penis? I don't need to touch it to masturbate, and I've touched plenty of other guy's penises. Is my "ladder to heaven" just going to be made out of every guy I slept with? Seems a bit sexist.

Pennies*

Watch me.

I mean, wouldn't you have fairly strong grip strength with a lot of "practice?"

I know it's shitposting, but even if we accept the idea that God would be interested by what you do with your own body when you're alone, isn't the whole point of the Bible that you don't have to climb to go to heaven, but accept God's grace?

I.don't understand evangelicalism.

No... I like touching myself way too much

Level up, try using your mouth instead

Unless you're climbing a penis ladder

Hetero women, bisexuals and gay guys might just... Stop at that level and stay for a bit.

I'm going to keep climbing until the ladder turns into titties.

I didn't think we were supposed to climb to heaven. Isn't that what the tower of Babel was about?

me, who's played Getting Over It:

Wait, I have to climb all the way up there? No thanks. I'll rather stay down here and spank the monkey.

Thanks for assuming it’s a handful

Even if I have a Jacob's ladder?

I hate being on ladders, I'll stay down here with the penises.

You can hang on to the penis of someone who's climbing.

Sex gives you STI STOP SEX NOW