I kinda felt this way when I used reddit.
Less so on Lemmy, and pretty much never on Hexbear.
this post was submitted on 01 Mar 2024
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I get this exact feeling, sometimes to the point where I'll block an entire community. I work a lot with people, and I speak regularly in front of large groups, but I've never experienced the kind of aggressive comments in real life that I do online. It gets exhausting. And I know that I can block people, but it's also hard to distinguish between people who are just having a bad day vs. someone who's an exhausting troll or debatebro. I usually can't tell the difference until after the struggle session, when I'm exhausted from arguing against ... usually against points I didn't even make lol
Edit: Just saw someone on a .world community who is repeatedly misgendering a trans person. I totally think "inbox fright" is valid, and the people who think it can just be ignored are not the ones who are in marginalized groups who are frequently targeted by hate. Even a good ally will get inbox fright, because these users will turn on you too, if you call them out for their bigotry.
I have the unfortunate distinction of being accustomed to people's resentment towards me at this point. I am no less timid, but it's routine now. However, putting myself in another's shoes, I make clear what you fear is unlike me. There are a million ways to debate the semantics of judgment, but only characterization can stand above the rest.
On here, replies and reactions make me excited. Generally speaking we're all comrades of some degree here. On a cesspool like 
I often get dread over the chuds who could potentially harass me
Talking to people is why I'm here so I am the exact opposite
Ding dong.
Hi, I'm replying so you can have a little number by your bell. Have a great March!
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I had this when I was younger, too. Today, I don't mind if someone posts or messages me nasty stuff, I either ignore it completely or just block this person and move on. There is no use getting frightened because of some internet stranger who decided that today is the day to type random bullshit to someone he doesn't even know.
What's in your anonymous inbox can't hurt you irl. If they're right, or make an argument that convinces you, you can always say so. If they're personally hurtful you can block them. Meanwhile reflect that their nasty comments say more to the rest of us about them than you.
Imagine being able to walk into a bar and block anyone obnoxious from interacting with you, wouldn't that be peaceful....
Edit to add: you're probably going to get more posted comments from people who don't experience inbox fright than from those who do. So keep in mind there's a circle of silent friends supporting you!
In my experience, I'm far less likely to encounter aggressive and unpleasant people in a club or a bar than I am online. I don't fear social situations, and I even speak and perform regularly in front of large groups, but I get the feeling OP has. When I find an online community where I don't get the really rabid comments in my inbox, I tend to fixate on it and post only there.
If I've posted once in a day, and it's gone against the grain in a particularly emotive topic discussion - then yeah I can't say I've not said "oh here we fucking go" when I've seen the little badge with a number on it that's not 1, because that's usually when I've posted a YouTube link and the bot picks it up.
In fairness, 70% of it is a valid dissenting opinion to my own and I've got the opportunity to learn from someone else's view, even if I'm still not convinced.
29% of the negative comments are just fannies just picking up a point which isn't entirely clear and then interprets it in a way that's logically and factually disingenuous to prove some sort of point, and I can count on one hand in the last thirty years or so the number of times that I've rattled someone's cage to the point where they feel the need to PM me death threats or offer physical violence - by that point I've already figured out that they're either deeply hurting and it's manifesting itself in that way, or they're deeply unwell and it's well outside my skillset to help.
Lemmy overall is much more open to debate than Reddit, and the downvote button is used less of a "disagree" or "fuck you" button than it was on the latter site.
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What's a struggle session?
Inbox fright is an interesting term. I certainly know and can relate to what you are talking about.
It doesn't affect me too much I don't think, but I know the feeling you are talking about. And I wonder how related or intersecting to/with social anxiety it is.
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It doesn't bother me at all. I made a comment, someone replied, there is no need at all to continue the discussion unless I want to.