this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2025
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Work Reform

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JPMorganChase CEO Jamie Dimon said during a Wednesday town hall he didn’t care how many employees signed a petition to bring back hybrid work. The company in mid-January announced a 100% return-to-office mandate, which angered many employees, who argue the move “disproportionately” pushed out women, caregivers, senior employees, and employees with disabilities.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago

Some More News did an excellent piece earlier this week on why "return to office" is a thing now. https://youtu.be/-JQKYzcmhyQ

[–] [email protected] 116 points 1 week ago (10 children)

I’ve had it with this stuff,” Dimon said during the town hall, according to Barron’s. “I’ve been working seven days a goddamn week since COVID, and I come in, and—where is everybody else?

Let me make sure I understand this. You're the chief executive of the world's largest bank. You have vast resources and an army of other executives at your disposal. What exactly is so urgent that you have to work 7 days a week and why is that anyone else's problem?

Wall Street treats Jamie Dimon like he's some sort of guru but it sounds to me like he's an fucking idiot whiney baby who doesn't manage his time wisely or recognize that he got to where he is on the backs of his employees.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yeah, a lot of this RTO business is some misguided perception that the wealthy work the hardest, and are thusly disproportionately compensated. They don't realize how hard everyone around them needs to work to keep things moving and give them their lifestyle.

The workplace can feel like a prison for most workers trying to do their job, even if it's what they like to do. For these CEOs and people at the top, it's a space they built for themselves, of course they want to go to the office.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago

Time for them all to get new jobs with a competitor. Be sure to get remote work guaranteed in writing.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago

What a piece of shit. Fuck Jamie Dimon.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 week ago (1 children)

In-person work “fosters a clear boundary between work and personal life, enhancing productivity and mental well-being,” Aytekin Tank, founder of Jotform, wrote in a July 2024

I wonder how long he had to spit the corporate cock out to write that line, what a tool.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

I think you misspelled his last name, it should be Jamie Demon.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 week ago

Jamie Dimon, grandson of Greek immigrants who had cancer, an aortic dissection (stress?), and returned to work in a remote capacity after surgery due to Covid?

That Jamie Dimon?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jamie_Dimon

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

Fuck you buddy

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If you don't care, then you might find you also don't have any employees anymore pretty soon. Hmm, where'd all my employees go...

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago

That's a healthy organization: one that doesn't listen to the people that actually do all the work! I will refuse anything to do with JPMorgan going forward...

[–] [email protected] 141 points 1 week ago (4 children)

I think this is only partly about the need to keep the value of commercial real estate inflated.

I think there's a more fundamental psychological motivation.

The illusion that the C-suite actually contributes value sufficient to arguably justify their obscene salaries depends in large part on them sitting in offices at the top of a building full of workers.

If the building is not full of workers, that threatens the illusion.

[–] [email protected] 68 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Also, people with power often like to harm people that are less fortunate because they believe they deserve it: "If they were good people, they wouldn't need to work for a living, because they'd be rich. Since they're not rich, they must be bad people."

[–] [email protected] 68 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I was legitimately shocked at the cartoonishly villainous shit I heard in my brief time at an investment firm. I swear to God this is a verbatim quote from a middle-aged, white, millionaire, Mormon investment adviser:

"There's no excuse for any American not to be a millionaire, if they'd just stop buying their cigarettes and their dope for a few weeks."

Hand to God. It's so absurd that it sounds like a, "That man's name was Albert Einstein. And then they all clapped."-type story, but that place was fucking wild.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

"There's no excuse for any American not to be a millionaire, if they'd just stop buying their cigarettes and their dope for a few weeks."

To be fair, the first half of that is true. What's wrong is the victim-blaming nonsense, failing to correctly attribute the reason to wages' failure to keep up with worker productivity.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 week ago

Finance bros are the OG of tech bros. I believe you.

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 week ago

If you have a Chase account, the best time to close it was 20 years ago.

The second best time is right this very second.

Even ignoring this story, with the collapse of the CFPB, you are about to get screwed harder than you can even imagine.

[–] [email protected] 65 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Companies are dictatorships

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Another name for the list, it seems.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Which list? I’m on a bunch by now

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

That would be the CEO list.

[–] [email protected] 69 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Tell me JP Morgan is underwater on commercial real estate without telling me JP Morgan is underwater on commercial real estate

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 week ago

Well eliminating a self selecting group of disproportionately high performers certainly won't hurt them long term.

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