this post was submitted on 28 Feb 2024
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The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

I mean, he does have a grudge against trees

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

Would be better than what he's using them for now.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago

They should ask the trees what they were wearing and then tell them that a spark is a beautiful living thing. If they're not willing to let an innocent little spark become a beautiful little flame, then the trees and anyone who helped them are all murderers.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

I'm from Texas and this one nearly got me...

[–] [email protected] 20 points 8 months ago

The headline about the mayor of New York ordering the NYPD to shoot floodwater if it doesn’t disperse was funnier.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Have we tried nuking them?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

"You wanna put out an oil fire, Sir, you set off a bigger explosion right next to it. Sucks away the oxygen. Snuffs the flame."

"Price, you been locked away too long. Better get your mind right, son."

"Shepherd, are you willing to do what is necessary to win?"

"Always"

[–] [email protected] 23 points 8 months ago (2 children)

They should recruit and assemble a flame thrower unit to fight the fire with fire.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago (1 children)

That is actually a legit technique used by firefighters

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

Forest fire fighters ... the method of purposely burning a section of forest in front of a moving forest fire to starve or stop the fire from otherwise spreading uncontrollably.

But what I've seen come out of Texas, they would legitimately try to point their flame throwers directly at a fire to try to kill it with fire.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago (2 children)

What if they got cops to point their guns at it and scream, "GET ON THE GROUND!"? I bet that'd work better.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

“We don’t need guns we need fire extinguishers.”

A quote that will live on longer than most Palestinians.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago
[–] [email protected] 50 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Had to double-check the community name on this one 😅

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

I almost ate the onion as well.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

Surround it with barbed wire!!

[–] [email protected] 18 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Invading it for ~~it's oil~~ freedom?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

Did somebody say…oil?

eagle screech