Yeah, but I have BPD, and know FPs are dangerous (still want one tho)
this post was submitted on 08 Feb 2025
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me_irl
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Are you your own favorite person? If not, why not? What qualities about yourself make you feel like you're not worthy of being the person you enjoy spending the most time with? If you are your own favorite person, why does it matter if someone else feels like they'd rather spend time with you over anyone else? I feel if you enjoy your own company when you're completely alone then the relationships you develop with others become more genuine, because you actually enjoy spending time with those people, rather than just being desperate to not be alone with yourself.
Because I've been very isolated and alone all my life, including home schooling, when I'm alone there's this emptiness inside of me that never gets filled. I get so anxious when I'm alone and have slowly lost the ability to do things to distract myself from it.
Theres a difference between being lonely and alone, I used to be good at being alone but I've never been able to cope with being lonely. Life seems pointless without others in it.
But the more you interact with them, the more it's revealed that people are mostly intolerable and disappointing. So, alone has it's own merits.
Isolation is painful, I know that very well. There is a vast difference between having no one in your life and feeling incapable of being ok without company. People need community, we are social beings. The best advice I have for seeking friendship is to join groups you have affinity with. If you're particularly interested in politics, art, music, movies, gardening, anime, 3D printing, TTRPGs, whatever it is you love spending time doing, find people in your area who get together to do those things and try to join them.
If, on the other hand, you have friends and community but still can't stand the time you spend alone, address what about being by yourself creates that anxiety? What are you getting from constant company that you don't have alone?
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why do you need to be someone's favourite person? if you make it to anyone's top 10, that's pretty cool already
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No. I matter a lot to some people who matter a lot to me. I don't need to be the most important person to anyone (other than my partner and our kitties; even then, she has lots of people who are more important in different ways, like her mom and brothers and her best friend since they were kids).
Cherish the people who matter to you. This feels like some real influencer-pilled shit.
always, but I've felt this way for a long time
tldr dated someone and felt it was serious and after breaking it off I never looked at friendships the same way
but the good thing is that this was a long time ago when I was young so I've focused on myself and ever since my motto has been to live purely for my hobbies and for myself
maybe it's selfish or whatever, I don't really care at this point
but friends are cherry on top, in terms of societal structure your family is supposed to be the people who ideally think of you as a favourite
my wife isn't the hottest woman on the planet to me and im not the hottest guy to her. My brother is real popular and maybe the favorite person of a bunch of folks. I doubt im the top for anything with anyone but you know. Thats fine. I don't need to be anything more than I am.
That's called insecurity.
No.
I’ve been there before, I’m not there now. I don’t want to see people there.
Yeah...
I feel everyone is more important than I am. Everyone.
Nahhhh bish you are more important than you will ever know
It took me so long to accept this, don’t take as long as I did.
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If you're not 7 people's favorite person by 11am, you just aren't putting in the work.
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Every day I go home knowing I'm the favorite person of 2 cats. Here both of them are laying on my lap.
For me it's my two little dogs who get filled with so much energy when I come home that one does constant 360s and the other serenades me with vocal sounds with her little tail flailing around at high speeds.
I could be completely flat and done with the world untill I walk inside and I'm filled with joy by these 2 little shits.
Cats have good taste!
Daily.