this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2025
566 points (95.9% liked)

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Ok so this one just isn't fair.

Two possibilities end up with me dead, two end up with millions dead, and one ends up with me being unemployed.

Sorry not sorry Team A and B, sacrifices must be made.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Wait, which one leaves you unemployed?

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[–] [email protected] 62 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago
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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Am I in the Metropolitan area?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago (2 children)

You are on track A and the bomb is within sight. If you get the shit end of the 50/50, everyone in the diagram would be vaporized instantly

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

So you're saying there's a 100% chance the comitees get vaporized by choosing the bottom track.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Well, no.

In scenario A they are instantly vaporized. In scenario B they are brutally sliced into multiple pieces and crushed to death, rather painfully depending on the speed of the trolley.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

You need to study up on your trolleys. That's clearly a Vaporizer Trolleynator 3000.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'd take my odds with the bottom track.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (4 children)

I agree. And if it doesn't fire the missile, I'll go get that and hook it up to my Motorcycle like Raven (Snow Crash)!

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

my family is dying and i dont like it, atleast get me on the tracks with them, would not be able to live with the guilt anyway

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Take another look, you're already standing on the top track.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

well that gives me some soothe

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Assuming it is in the US, at 4.5 million it can only be San Francisco/Oakland/Berkeley.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 week ago (1 children)

would the bomb also kill javascript and C++ or would I have to keep throwing trolleys at it until I get a heads?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

At that distance it also kills you, so it sounds like a good deal. No regrets.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

win win win

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Middle track. Then I have plenty of time to hotwire the nuke with my handy dandy mallet

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Are we in the blast zone of the nuke?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Maybe we could use Javascript to direct a simple robot to set the lever while we remain at a safe distance?

Maybe the real solution to this diagram is to nuke it from orbit.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

But the robot has to run windows vista

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

And have a valid Apple developer account?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

I like those odds

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 week ago

there might be an argument that JavaScript kills more than a nuclear bomb

[–] [email protected] 79 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Javascript Standards Team is such an Oxymoron.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Yeah, didn't know there was a standard committee and can't believe how inept they are.

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[–] [email protected] 223 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Option 3 means that the Javascript standards team dies either way, right? Number 3. No hesitation.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

wait nvm I fucked up

[–] [email protected] 66 points 1 week ago (3 children)

the c++ team is a sacrifice I'm willing to make. can we just shoot Brendan Eich in the head if he's not in there too?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago

I feel like all C++ does these days is badly and very slowly copy other languages. It wouldn't be a huge loss.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 week ago

Push him onto the pressure pad. Make it his fault.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 week ago

I think I’ll take my chances with the bomb

[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 week ago (3 children)

“You and your entire family” means “All life on Earth”.

That should make the decision somewhat easier.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

By my definition, family is who you treat like family.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

I try to treat everyone I meet like family

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

I thought seaweed didn't have a common ancestor

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago

If you make it "all human live" it starts to look quite attractive again

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